The Colbert Report
Intro - 6/4/09
Season 5 • 06/04/2009
Wikipedia takes on Scientology. Whose wildly inaccurate version of reality will triumph?
Eric Schlosser - "Food, Inc."The Colbert ReportS5
Eric Schlosser, co-producer of the documentary film "Food, Inc.," talks about the link between the rise of factory farms in the U.S. and the heightened risk of foodborne illnesses.
The Word - I Do, You Don'tThe Colbert ReportS5
All marriages shouldn't be equal, but there should be so many separate kinds of marriage that the gays don't feel singled out.
Intro - 6/3/09The Colbert ReportS5
California allows some gay couples to stay married, and Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July.
Tip/Wag - 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson & GMThe Colbert ReportS5
Obama invites Iran to celebrate 4th of July, Craig T. Nelson stands up against big government, and GM fires its robots.
Sign Off - "The Hollow Men"The Colbert ReportS5
This is the way the show ends Not with a bang but a whimper.
We Have a Death Star!The Colbert ReportS5
Now that America has a Death Star, Stephen works on his telekinetic choking abilities.
The Word - Just Don't Do ItThe Colbert ReportS5
Teens, sex is as natural as the birds and the bees because you will be stung to death and have your eyes violently pecked out.
Wikipedia Bans ScientologistsThe Colbert ReportS5
Wikipedia bans Scientologists after finding Tom Cruise's entry listing him as 5'10".
Dag SoderbergThe Colbert ReportS5
Dag Soderberg takes the Bible out of the bookshop and onto the coffee table with "Bible Illuminated."
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - External LungsThe Colbert ReportS5
External lungs increase office productivity by allowing employees to send them outside for a smoke break.
Intro - 6/4/09The Colbert ReportS5
Wikipedia takes on the Church of Scientology, and the latest on abstinence-only education will be worth the wait.
Operation Iraqi Stephen - John McCainThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen is thrilled to bring his show to Iraq, and John McCain has a word of advice for the troops.
Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 1The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen doesn't get any special treatment when he participates in 10 full hours of basic training.
Sign Off - New HaircutThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen offers thanks to the U.S.O. for helping him get to Iraq and to General Ray Odierno for his new haircut.
Operation Iraqi Stephen - Mysterious TripThe Colbert ReportS5
It's not a hoax after all -- Stephen mysteriously makes his way to Baghdad, Iraq.
The Word - Why Are You Here?The Colbert ReportS5
You will all want to remember where you were when you heard Stephen declare victory in Iraq.
Obama Orders Stephen's Haircut - Ray OdiernoThe Colbert ReportS5
Under direct orders from Commander-in-Chief Barack Obama, General Ray Odierno shaves Stephen's head.
Operation Iraqi Stephen - S.H.The Colbert ReportS5
The initials carved into the ceiling and pillars of the Water Palace shouldn't stand for Saddam Hussein anymore.
Tareq Salha & Robin BalcomThe Colbert ReportS5
Specialist Tareq Salha and Sgt. Robin Balcom don't look anything like the soldiers from WWII movies.
Stephen Strong - Army of Me - Basic Training Pt. 2The Colbert ReportS5
As much as Stephen doesn't want to admit it, it's time for him to graduate from basic training.
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