The Colbert Report

Intro - 9/14/09

Season 5 • 09/14/2009

Shocking news at the MTV Video Music Awards: apparently MTV shows music videos.

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00:24

Intro - 8/20/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The Earth's population nears 7 billion, and Chris Matthews discusses his documentary, "The Kennedy Brothers."
08/20/2009
04:51

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Make Babies
The Colbert ReportS5

America needs to get back in the game of overpopulation by instituting a one-child minimum policy and letting teens spread sex misinformation to their peers.
08/20/2009
00:07

Sign Off - Vacation Begins
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen officially starts his three-week vacation now.
08/20/2009
01:32

France Bans Elephants
The Colbert ReportS5

France ruins Stephen's vacation plans by banning elephants from French beaches.
08/20/2009
05:32

Chris Matthews
The Colbert ReportS5

Chris Matthews believes American politics would have been completely different without the Kennedys.
08/20/2009
04:01

Conservatives Are Back
The Colbert ReportS5

Barack Obama's speech on health care reform is so moving it almost fools Lindsey Graham into clapping.
09/14/2009
05:11

Cory Booker
The Colbert ReportS5

Mayor Cory Booker discusses Newark's decreasing crime rate and gives Stephen the right to pee.
09/14/2009
05:27

Better Know a Lobby - Health Care for America Now
The Colbert ReportS5

Richard Kirsch must choose between saving universal health care or saving an old lady from drowning.
09/14/2009
03:58

Kanye West Interrupts Taylor Swift at the VMAs
The Colbert ReportS5

Kanye West's attack on Taylor Swift at the VMAs was actually an attack on Stephen.
09/14/2009
00:03

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report.
09/14/2009
00:33

Intro - 9/14/09
The Colbert ReportS5

The health care debate rages on, MTV's VMAs deliver a shock, and Cory Booker admits he is the mayor of Newark.
09/14/2009
01:06

Stephen Loses World Record to Lou Dobbs
The Colbert ReportS5

Lou Dobbs beats Stephen with the world record for most insults to Mexico in a single broadcast.
09/15/2009
04:55

Christiane Amanpour
The Colbert ReportS5

Christiane Amanpour is going to make Americans care about the rest of the world with her CNN show "Amanpour."
09/15/2009
04:03

Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission - Jeffrey Toobin
The Colbert ReportS5

Jeffrey Toobin explains what will happen to elections if the Supreme Court decides in favor of corporations.
09/15/2009
02:43

World Record for Mexican Insults
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen tries to set his own record for most insults to Mexico in a single nightly news broadcast.
09/15/2009
06:11

The Word - Let Freedom Ka-Ching
The Colbert ReportS5

Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.
09/15/2009
06:18

I's on Edjukashun - Muslim Textbooks & Tony Danza
The Colbert ReportS5

Obama indoctrinates America's school children, Tucker Carlson reveals Muslims' influence on textbooks, and Tony Danza teaches high school.
09/16/2009
02:40

Figgy Moonpowder
The Colbert ReportS5

If David Bowie is going to muscle into Stephen's turf by having a spider named after him, Stephen will introduce his alter ego, Figgy Moonpowder.
09/16/2009
02:09

Body Worlds Plans Cadaver Sex Exhibit
The Colbert ReportS5

The Body Worlds exhibit devoted to cadaver sex makes being dead look like too much fun.
09/16/2009
00:33

Intro - 9/16/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen takes an in-depth look at education, and The Flaming Lips' two-story plush hippo doesn't get through security.
09/16/2009
04:43

Wayne Coyne
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen asks The Flaming Lips' Wayne Coyne how bad things must be in Oklahoma that "Do You Realize??" is its official rock song.
09/16/2009
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