The Colbert Report
This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness
Season 9 • 10/11/2012
An eyewitness account suggests Barack Obama teleported to Mars as a child.
Naomi WolfThe Colbert ReportS9
Naomi Wolf explores low sexual desire among women, vaginal anatomy and America's outdated cultural script on sex.
Sign Off - "Vagina: A New Biography"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reads up on female anatomy.
The Word - MeducationThe Colbert ReportS9
Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades.
Beverage-Based Polling & Pizza Toppings Town HallThe Colbert ReportS9
The 7-Eleven coffee cup poll has a margin of error of "Mormons can't drink coffee," and Pizza Hut promises one town hall questioner free pies for life.
Intro - 10/10/12The Colbert ReportS9
America's education system finds answers, highways encounter trouble, and Naomi Wolf talks about her book, "Vagina: A New Biography."
Chrystia FreelandThe Colbert ReportS9
In her book "Plutocrats," Chrystia Freeland argues that today's global economy allows the super rich to disregard the American middle class.
The Vice-Presidential DebateThe Colbert ReportS9
Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan debate in Kentucky, and critics question Barack Obama's relationship to moderator Martha Raddatz's ex-husband.
Intro - 10/11/12The Colbert ReportS9
Obama faces an "October surprise," scientists discover a new species of turtle, and Chrystia Freeland examines the super-rich in her book, "Plutocrats."
Formidable Opponent - Mitt RomneyThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen argues the centrist Mitt Romney seen at the debate is the real Mitt Romney, but Stephen thinks Stephen got sucked in.
This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian GaynessThe Colbert ReportS9
Rumors of President Obama's secret gay Martian past emanate from a top-secret government space teleportation program.
Tip/Wag - Norway & American Family AssociationThe Colbert ReportS9
Europe grants itself the Nobel Peace Prize, and liberal social engineering erases heterosexual boundaries at the lunch table.
Intro - 10/15/12The Colbert ReportS9
The Nobel Committees name the Nobel Prize winners, a criminal runs loose in Florida, and Evan Thomas explores Dwight D. Eisenhower's influence on modern nuclear policy.
Monkey on the Lam - Florida - Monkey on the GramThe Colbert ReportS9
The people of St. Petersburg have ignored Stephen's selfless attempts to macaque-block them, and now the plundering monkey has come back to bite them.
Supersonic Space JumpThe Colbert ReportS9
Millions watch daredevil Felix Baumgartner parachute from the mesosphere without turning into a spacesuit full of wet dog food.
Affirmative Action Supreme Court Case - Emily BazelonThe Colbert ReportS9
Yale research fellow Emily Bazelon discusses Justice Kennedy's affirmative action views and the role of socioeconomics in college admissions.
The Wealth Edge & "Cool" Debate TechnologyThe Colbert ReportS9
Mitt Romney identifies with audience members who earn $91,000 a year, and CNN allows Web users to share their favorite debate moments.
Paul Ryan's Phony Campaign PhotoThe Colbert ReportS9
Paul Ryan ambushes a soup kitchen while Mitt Romney visits the special kitchen in his house that only makes soup.
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