The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 07/28/2009
Arianna Huffington and Orly Taitz are both politically active and affect wildly ridiculous accents.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - stePhens iPhone
The iPhone is a slippery slope that ends with us surrendering our humanity to anything with wi-fi and a flat screen.
The Colbert ReportS5 ThreatDown - Henry Louis Gates Jr., Bill Gates & Wilford Brimley
Henry Louis Gates Jr. commits the perfect crime, Bill Gates tries to control the weather, and Wilford Brimley has too much free time.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/27/09
A report on tasers may shock you, and Swedish band Movits! helps Stephen put his Ikea futon together.
The Colbert ReportS5 Movits!
Because the guys from Movits! are from Sweden, they're forced to have the same hair length and glasses.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sarah Palin Will Be Missed
Stephen says goodbye to Sarah Palin in the same way he imagines she writes her own speeches.
The Colbert ReportS5 Nailed 'Em - Library Crime
The local library bans Dominic Philip after spotting a photo of him tooting a kazoo in their summer reading parade.
The Colbert ReportS5 Womb Raiders - Orly Taitz
Stephen thanks Orly Taitz for being one of the few people willing to compare the Obama administration to Nazi Germany.
The Colbert ReportS5 President Obama's Teachable Moment
Obama's teaching: if you arrest a black man under questionable circumstances, you get to have a beer with the president.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Devil's Tricks
One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
The Colbert ReportS5 Womb Raiders - The Fight for the Truth Behind Obama's Birth
Stephen wants to hear from one of the sperm that witnessed President Obama's conception in order to verify his birthplace.
The Colbert ReportS5 Arianna Huffington
Arianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/29/09
Lance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Tour de France & Robotic Baseball
A person who isn't Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, and Japanese robots make baseball interesting.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Watch Without Blinking
If you watch this episode again without blinking, you get three percent more programming.
The Colbert ReportS5 Frank the Roommate
After Viacom's profits fall by 32%, Stephen cuts his costs by taking on a roommate.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kevin Baker
Kevin Baker believes President Obama sees what needs to be done but is too reluctant to break with Congress.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
Racism is nothing more than an unpleasant nuisance that is best to ignore, like a fart.
The Colbert ReportS5 White House Beer Summit
Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley insist on three different brands of foreign beer for their White House meeting.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/30/09
Stephen can't start the show because his roommate, Frank, is sitting at his desk.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kathryn Bigelow
Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.
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