The Colbert Report
Intro - 7/29/09
Season 5 • 07/29/2009
What's the state of racism in America? Stephen is going to go with Alabama.
The Colbert ReportS5 Womb Raiders - Orly Taitz
Stephen thanks Orly Taitz for being one of the few people willing to compare the Obama administration to Nazi Germany.
The Colbert ReportS5 Arianna Huffington
Arianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.
The Colbert ReportS5 President Obama's Teachable Moment
Obama's teaching: if you arrest a black man under questionable circumstances, you get to have a beer with the president.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Devil's Tricks
One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
The Colbert ReportS5 Womb Raiders - The Fight for the Truth Behind Obama's Birth
Stephen wants to hear from one of the sperm that witnessed President Obama's conception in order to verify his birthplace.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Tour de France & Robotic Baseball
A person who isn't Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, and Japanese robots make baseball interesting.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Watch Without Blinking
If you watch this episode again without blinking, you get three percent more programming.
The Colbert ReportS5 Frank the Roommate
After Viacom's profits fall by 32%, Stephen cuts his costs by taking on a roommate.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kevin Baker
Kevin Baker believes President Obama sees what needs to be done but is too reluctant to break with Congress.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
Racism is nothing more than an unpleasant nuisance that is best to ignore, like a fart.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/29/09
Lance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.
The Colbert ReportS5 White House Beer Summit
Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley insist on three different brands of foreign beer for their White House meeting.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 7/30/09
Stephen can't start the show because his roommate, Frank, is sitting at his desk.
The Colbert ReportS5 Kathryn Bigelow
Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - Man-Words & Movits!
Educators ban man-words from textbooks, and Stephen discovers America's newest pop sensation, Movits!
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Taco Bell Spokesdog
Taco Bell's beloved spokesdog, Gidget, is on a farm upstate, playing with other dogs that are dead.
The Colbert ReportS5 MeTunes - Hit of the Summer
Stephen can't get behind current hits from The Black Eyed Peas, Jeremih and Sean Kingston, so he creates his own song of the summer.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tony Zinni
General Tony Zinni cites David Petraeus, Barack Obama and Richard Branson as examples of great leaders.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health Care
Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
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