The Colbert Report
Intro - 7/29/09
Season 5 • 07/29/2009
What's the state of racism in America? Stephen is going to go with Alabama.
Womb Raiders - Orly TaitzThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen thanks Orly Taitz for being one of the few people willing to compare the Obama administration to Nazi Germany.
Arianna HuffingtonThe Colbert ReportS5
Arianna Huffington was born in the United States, but she cultivated an accent to give herself an air of being an ethnic minority.
President Obama's Teachable MomentThe Colbert ReportS5
Obama's teaching: if you arrest a black man under questionable circumstances, you get to have a beer with the president.
Sign Off - Devil's TricksThe Colbert ReportS5
One of the greatest tricks the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
Womb Raiders - The Fight for the Truth Behind Obama's BirthThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to hear from one of the sperm that witnessed President Obama's conception in order to verify his birthplace.
Sport Report - Tour de France & Robotic BaseballThe Colbert ReportS5
A person who isn't Lance Armstrong wins the Tour de France, and Japanese robots make baseball interesting.
Sign Off - Watch Without BlinkingThe Colbert ReportS5
If you watch this episode again without blinking, you get three percent more programming.
Frank the RoommateThe Colbert ReportS5
After Viacom's profits fall by 32%, Stephen cuts his costs by taking on a roommate.
Kevin BakerThe Colbert ReportS5
Kevin Baker believes President Obama sees what needs to be done but is too reluctant to break with Congress.
The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt ItThe Colbert ReportS5
Racism is nothing more than an unpleasant nuisance that is best to ignore, like a fart.
Intro - 7/29/09The Colbert ReportS5
Lance Armstrong comes in third in the Tour de France, and Kevin Baker says Obama is the new Hoover.
White House Beer SummitThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama, Henry Louis Gates Jr. and James Crowley insist on three different brands of foreign beer for their White House meeting.
Intro - 7/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen can't start the show because his roommate, Frank, is sitting at his desk.
Kathryn BigelowThe Colbert ReportS5
Kathryn Bigelow's war movie, "The Hurt Locker," is getting great reviews, despite not having explosions and ear-splitting sound effects.
Tip/Wag - Man-Words & Movits!The Colbert ReportS5
Educators ban man-words from textbooks, and Stephen discovers America's newest pop sensation, Movits!
Sign Off - Taco Bell SpokesdogThe Colbert ReportS5
Taco Bell's beloved spokesdog, Gidget, is on a farm upstate, playing with other dogs that are dead.
MeTunes - Hit of the SummerThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen can't get behind current hits from The Black Eyed Peas, Jeremih and Sean Kingston, so he creates his own song of the summer.
Tony ZinniThe Colbert ReportS5
General Tony Zinni cites David Petraeus, Barack Obama and Richard Branson as examples of great leaders.
Bears & Balls - How to Pay for Health CareThe Colbert ReportS5
Democrats want to pay for health care reform by taxing sodas and killing old people.
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