Suck My Culo, Chica
E 5 • 04/16/2003
J-Lo and Ben Affleck show up at South Park Elementary.
South Park E4Full Fledge Retard
In an attempt to initiate a flashback to avoid studying, Cartman hits himself over the head with a rock while thinking about 1776. The boys aren't really into this plan.
South Park E4Bring the Shizzle
Both Sides or the War Protest have a meeting at the Mayors office. She decides they must protest together,
South Park E4Cartman in 1776 (Music Montage)
Cartman successfully electrocutes himself back to 1776. Then he sings a song about how much he hates Stan and Kyle.
South Park E4Official Messenger Boy
In his flashback, Cartman beats up a messenger so he can meet Thomas Jefferson and deliver the Declaration of Independence but he's really in a coma.
South Park E4Only 2 Left in The Study Group
The anti-war gang enlists the boys to give a presentation at their rally, but Mr. McCormick and the pro-war guys take Kenny away.
South Park E4Thursday: Free Ice Cream Day
Cartman delivers the Declaration of Independence to Congress. He sticks around for the reading of it.
South Park E4How Very Very Relevant
Cartman watches as Congress argues over whether or not to declare war.
South Park E4SUPPORT COUNTRY PROTEST ROCK N ROLL
Stan and Kyle come unprepared to the rally. Then a fight breaks out.
South Park E4Saying One Thing and Doing Another
Congress reaches a decision about the war. They decide to have their cake and eat it too. Then Cartman wakes up.
South Park E5Don't Forget The Hot Sauce, Chulo
Cartman/J-Lo record some tracks. Later that night the J-Lo puppet keeps Cartman up while practicing her dance moves.
South Park E5Suck My Culo, Chica
J-Lo and Ben Affleck go to South Park Elementary. J-Lo beats Cartman but it seems like Affleck is falling in love with the hand.
South Park E5Hand Lovin'
Ben Affleck is in love with the new Jennifer Lopez, and their afternoon leads to more than just taco-flavored kisses.
South Park E5Will I Dream...
Cartman gives up and tells everyone that his hand is really a con man named Mitch Connor. When the authorities leave, he admits it was all a joke.
South Park E5Taco-Flavor Kisses
Cartman makes a music video at the mall featuring his J-Lo hand-puppet. It gets sent to a major record label and the execs love it.
South Park E5I Eat Tacos & Burritos
The class does presentations about Latin American culture for the Latino Endowment Committee. The committee likes Cartman's presentation.
South Park E5Ms. Lopez Gets Signed
BHI calls up Cartman and talks to his hand, J-Lo. They ask her to write 10 more songs. Cartman dreams of proving Kyle wrong.
South Park E5Jennifer Lopez Gets Dropped
J-Lo is dropped from BHI. The execs tell her about the other J-Lo and she decides to go to South Park to "kill that bitch."
South Park E5Taco Flavored Kisses For My Ben
Ben Affleck shows up at Cartman's house and spends day with J-Lo. J-Lo sings a song and then things get steamy.
South Park E5Can I Have Your Tacos
J-Lo finds Cartman and beats up his hand. The doctor fears for Cartman's sanity. Ben Affleck and the J-Lo puppet are now engaged.
South Park E5J-Lo Has A Chainsaw
Cartman asks the boys for help and they turn him down. Then the real J-Lo comes after him with a chainsaw.