The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 01/26/2009
If you were offended by anything tonight, call 1-877-SEAN-930.
Un-American News - President Obama EditionThe Colbert ReportS5
Palestinians want to be happy for Barack Obama, but they have to feel the opposite of Israel.
Refreshing Sierra MistThe Colbert ReportS5
Kids, if you're playing at home, tonight's secret word is Refreshing Sierra Mist.
Jon MeachamThe Colbert ReportS5
Jon Meacham thinks Andrew Jackson would have loved YouTube.
Better Know a Lobby - NAACPThe Colbert ReportS5
Even after Barack Obama's election, NAACP president Benjamin Jealous won't admit racism is over.
Intro - 1/22/09The Colbert ReportS5
The world reacts to President Obama and Stephen yells back in Esperanto.
Tip/Wag - John Yarmuth's Holiday CardThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen tips his hat to John Yarmuth for his kittenless Christmas card.
Obama's New Science Policy - Chris MooneyThe Colbert ReportS5
Chris Mooney thinks scientists are going to be much closer to Barack Obama than they were to George W. Bush.
Intro - 1/26/09The Colbert ReportS5
An executive order shuts down our secret prisons. Now where will we get our secret license plates?
Stephen's Secret PrisonThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen is forced to release Omar after his secret prison is shut down.
1-877-SEAN-930The Colbert ReportS5
Call 1-877-SEAN-930 if you were offended by anything you heard on tonight's program.
Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report RumorsThe Colbert ReportS5
Bill O'Reilly will not report on rumors of Caroline Kennedy having an affair.
Intro - 1/27/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama appears on Arab TV and it's not "CSI: Abu Dhabi."
Omar ReturnsThe Colbert ReportS5
If you love something, set it free from the secret prison under your desk.
Cheating Death - Lung HealthThe Colbert ReportS5
If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
Al Arabiya Kidnaps ObamaThe Colbert ReportS5
President Obama is held hostage by a terrorist group calling themselves the Al Arabiya television network.
Philippe PetitThe Colbert ReportS5
Philippe Petit isn't courageous -- he's following his passion.
Call 1-877-SEAN-930The Colbert ReportS5
If you're offended by Holocaust deniers call 1-877-SEAN-930.
Intro - 1/28/09The Colbert ReportS5
The House passes the $800 billion stimulus plan. China, could we interest you in a slightly used Oregon?
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