The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 01/27/2009
Philippe Petit will never have a tombstone.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's New Science Policy - Chris Mooney
Chris Mooney thinks scientists are going to be much closer to Barack Obama than they were to George W. Bush.
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Homer Does Research
Stephen's ex-prisoner Homer helps out The Colbert Report's research department.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 1/26/09
An executive order shuts down our secret prisons. Now where will we get our secret license plates?
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen's Secret Prison
Stephen is forced to release Omar after his secret prison is shut down.
The Colbert ReportS5 1-877-SEAN-930
Call 1-877-SEAN-930 if you were offended by anything you heard on tonight's program.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report Rumors
Bill O'Reilly will not report on rumors of Caroline Kennedy having an affair.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 1/27/09
President Obama appears on Arab TV and it's not "CSI: Abu Dhabi."
The Colbert ReportS5 Omar Returns
If you love something, set it free from the secret prison under your desk.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Lung Health
If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
The Colbert ReportS5 Al Arabiya Kidnaps Obama
President Obama is held hostage by a terrorist group calling themselves the Al Arabiya television network.
The Colbert ReportS5 Philippe Petit
Philippe Petit isn't courageous -- he's following his passion.
The Colbert ReportS5 Call 1-877-SEAN-930
If you're offended by Holocaust deniers call 1-877-SEAN-930.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 1/28/09
The House passes the $800 billion stimulus plan. China, could we interest you in a slightly used Oregon?
The Colbert ReportS5 Exclusive - Better Know a Beatle - Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney explains how to hunt vegetables.
The Colbert ReportS5 Countdown to Atomic Disaster - The Wing-Ageddon
Watching the Super Bowl without a plate of chicken wings is like making love without a plate of chicken wings.
The Colbert ReportS5 Goodnight Illinois Gov. Patrick Quinn
Stephen says goodnight to Illinois Governor Patrick Quinn.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 1/29/09
All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb
Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
The Colbert ReportS5 John Podesta
John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
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