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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Denis Dutton
Season 5 • 01/28/2009
Denis Dutton believes Stephen is art.
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Watching
00:23
The Colbert Report
S5
1-877-SEAN-930
Call 1-877-SEAN-930 if you were offended by anything you heard on tonight's program.
01/26/2009
03:12
The Colbert Report
S5
Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report Rumors
Bill O'Reilly will not report on rumors of Caroline Kennedy having an affair.
01/27/2009
00:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 1/27/09
President Obama appears on Arab TV and it's not "CSI: Abu Dhabi."
01/27/2009
02:16
The Colbert Report
S5
Omar Returns
If you love something, set it free from the secret prison under your desk.
01/27/2009
05:17
The Colbert Report
S5
Cheating Death - Lung Health
If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
01/27/2009
02:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Al Arabiya Kidnaps Obama
President Obama is held hostage by a terrorist group calling themselves the Al Arabiya television network.
01/27/2009
06:21
The Colbert Report
S5
Philippe Petit
Philippe Petit isn't courageous -- he's following his passion.
01/27/2009
00:22
The Colbert Report
S5
Call 1-877-SEAN-930
If you're offended by Holocaust deniers call 1-877-SEAN-930.
01/28/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 1/28/09
The House passes the $800 billion stimulus plan. China, could we interest you in a slightly used Oregon?
01/28/2009
05:51
The Colbert Report
S5
Countdown to Atomic Disaster - The Wing-Ageddon
Watching the Super Bowl without a plate of chicken wings is like making love without a plate of chicken wings.
01/28/2009
05:57
The Colbert Report
S5
Denis Dutton
Denis Dutton says art is a tool for propagating.
01/28/2009
00:06
The Colbert Report
S5
Goodnight Illinois Gov. Patrick Quinn
Stephen says goodnight to Illinois Governor Patrick Quinn.
01/29/2009
00:37
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 1/29/09
All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
01/29/2009
07:07
The Colbert Report
S5
Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb
Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
01/29/2009
05:37
The Colbert Report
S5
John Podesta
John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
01/29/2009
01:21
The Colbert Report
S5
Rod Blagojevich Is Impeached
Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
01/29/2009
05:24
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - The Audacity of Nope
If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
01/29/2009
00:14
The Colbert Report
S5
So Long, Farewell
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.
02/02/2009
04:02
The Colbert Report
S5
The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act
Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing.
02/02/2009
05:39
The Colbert Report
S5
Nailed 'Em - Amtrak Photographer
Amtrak police arrest a man because he's taking pictures for their photography contest.
02/02/2009
03:05
The Colbert Report
S5
It Could Be Worse - Iceland
Iceland is a frigid rock in the middle of nowhere that has gone bankrupt and gone gay.
02/02/2009
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Out of Office
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