The Colbert Report

Denis Dutton

Season 5 • 01/28/2009

Denis Dutton believes Stephen is art.

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00:23

The Colbert ReportS5
1-877-SEAN-930

Call 1-877-SEAN-930 if you were offended by anything you heard on tonight's program.
01/26/2009
03:12

The Colbert ReportS5
Bill O'Reilly Doesn't Report Rumors

Bill O'Reilly will not report on rumors of Caroline Kennedy having an affair.
01/27/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 1/27/09

President Obama appears on Arab TV and it's not "CSI: Abu Dhabi."
01/27/2009
02:16

The Colbert ReportS5
Omar Returns

If you love something, set it free from the secret prison under your desk.
01/27/2009
05:17

The Colbert ReportS5
Cheating Death - Lung Health

If air with fewer particles will extend your life for five months, logically air with no particles should extend it indefinitely.
01/27/2009
02:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Al Arabiya Kidnaps Obama

President Obama is held hostage by a terrorist group calling themselves the Al Arabiya television network.
01/27/2009
06:21

The Colbert ReportS5
Philippe Petit

Philippe Petit isn't courageous -- he's following his passion.
01/27/2009
00:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Call 1-877-SEAN-930

If you're offended by Holocaust deniers call 1-877-SEAN-930.
01/28/2009
00:34

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 1/28/09

The House passes the $800 billion stimulus plan. China, could we interest you in a slightly used Oregon?
01/28/2009
05:51

The Colbert ReportS5
Countdown to Atomic Disaster - The Wing-Ageddon

Watching the Super Bowl without a plate of chicken wings is like making love without a plate of chicken wings.
01/28/2009
05:57

The Colbert ReportS5
Denis Dutton

Denis Dutton says art is a tool for propagating.
01/28/2009
00:06

The Colbert ReportS5
Goodnight Illinois Gov. Patrick Quinn

Stephen says goodnight to Illinois Governor Patrick Quinn.
01/29/2009
00:37

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 1/29/09

All 177 House Republicans say no to Obama's stimulus package. Shh! Don't tell them they don't control the House anymore.
01/29/2009
07:07

The Colbert ReportS5
Sport Report - Chicken Wing Spokesman Richard Lobb

Richard Lobb has advice for the man who has to choose between frying chicken wings and educating his kids.
01/29/2009
05:37

The Colbert ReportS5
John Podesta

John Podesta believes that in the last nine days Barack Obama has shown he can make progress.
01/29/2009
01:21

The Colbert ReportS5
Rod Blagojevich Is Impeached

Rod Blagojevich is impeached even after appearing on all the talk shows.
01/29/2009
05:24

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - The Audacity of Nope

If Republicans can't have a perfect bill to stimulate the economy, they'd rather have no economy at all.
01/29/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
So Long, Farewell

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night.
02/02/2009
04:02

The Colbert ReportS5
The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act

Stephen will now have to discriminate under the table, which will be difficult, since that's where he usually does his harassing.
02/02/2009
05:39

The Colbert ReportS5
Nailed 'Em - Amtrak Photographer

Amtrak police arrest a man because he's taking pictures for their photography contest.
02/02/2009
03:05

The Colbert ReportS5
It Could Be Worse - Iceland

Iceland is a frigid rock in the middle of nowhere that has gone bankrupt and gone gay.
02/02/2009
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