The Colbert Report

Credit Check

Season 5 • 05/11/2009

Stephen's credit card has been pre-approved for its own credit card.

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Watching

03:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Smokin' Pole - The Fight for Arctic Riches: Inuit Nation

Arctic nations rush to stake claims in polar territories, even though it clearly belongs to America -- Superman lives there.
05/07/2009
06:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Mitchell Joachim

Mitchell Joachim imagines soft cars and blimp bumper buses for cities in the future.
05/07/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Spay and Neuter Your Pets

Remember, have your pets spayed or neutered. Animal members of the Colbert Nation: run!
05/07/2009
04:02

The Colbert ReportS5
Sean Hannity's Liberty Tree

Thank you, Sean Hannity, for taking us to the Liberty Tree instead of going miles out of the way to the Making Sense Bush.
05/07/2009
00:15

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Unicorn Dealership

If you dream about Stephen tonight, he'll see you at the unicorn dealership.
05/11/2009
00:30

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 5/11/09

Congress cracks down on credit card companies, and Jeff Daniels' Broadway play sounds like a great video game.
05/11/2009
02:53

The Colbert ReportS5
Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik Slye

The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
05/11/2009
03:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's Fancy Feast

When Stephen sends his assistant to get pate, she only brings back the fanciest of feasts.
05/11/2009
04:05

The Colbert ReportS5
Credit Card Industry Regulation - Tamara Draut

Tamara Draut believes industry regulation is necessary now that Americans are using credit for basic necessities.
05/11/2009
04:29

The Colbert ReportS5
Jeff Daniels

Jeff Daniels' explains how the play "God of Carnage" shows what happens once the mask of civility is taken away.
05/11/2009
03:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Credit Check

Credit card companies are part of an honest industry just trying to make 30% on a buck.
05/11/2009
01:35

The Colbert ReportS5
Howard's End

The Vatican's hesitation to boycott Ron Howard's movie, "Angels & Demons," shocks and dismays Stephen.
05/12/2009
00:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 5/12/09

The embargo on Cuba could be lifted, and Ron Howard discusses his directorial work on the most anti-Catholic film since "Sister Act 2."
05/12/2009
03:42

The Colbert ReportS5
Cuba/US Trade Relations - Julia Sweig

Julia Sweig explains why America should bother opening trade relations with Cuba.
05/12/2009
04:27

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Re-Brand the GOP

The GOP needs to make painful, soul-searching, superficial changes to their image without altering anything inside.
05/12/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
You Are a Dummy

If you were offended by any part of the show, it's probably when Stephen called you dumb, dummy.
05/12/2009
06:03

The Colbert ReportS5
Ron Howard

Ron Howard tells Stephen that "Angels & Demons" is about Robert Langdon saving the church, even though Jesus already did that.
05/12/2009
02:48

The Colbert ReportS5
Our Plan in Havana

Europeans try to take Americans' Cuba cash by lifting trade restrictions before the US.
05/12/2009
00:28

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 5/13/09

The government has a new method for funding health care, and Michael Pollan defends food.
05/13/2009
04:49

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's Coke Party Protest

Stephen is already twitching with excitement over his Coke-fueled party to protest the soda tax.
05/13/2009
06:17

The Colbert ReportS5
Colbert Platinum - $1,000 Dishes

Stephen's $1,000 omelet, $1,000 pizza and $1,000 sundae were worth every cent he didn't pay.
05/13/2009
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