The Colbert Report
The Word - Stonewalling
Season 5 • 06/25/2009
Barack Obama will get to the gay community eventually.
Intro - 6/24/09The Colbert ReportS5
The Jonas Brothers don't abstain from making awesome rock, and Matthew Crawford believes in working with his hands.
Sport Report - Soccer, Tennis & Brett FavreThe Colbert ReportS5
The U.S. soccer team beats Spain, Wimbledon fights match fixing, and Brett Favre wants to join the Minnesota Vikings.
Matthew CrawfordThe Colbert ReportS5
Matthew Crawford explores the dichotomy between "knowledge" work and manual labor.
Sign Off - Random GPS Coordinate LotteryThe Colbert ReportS5
If you're at latitude 37.718 and longitude negative 102.656, you've won Stephen's random GPS coordinate lottery.
Mark Sanford Does Something InterestingThe Colbert ReportS5
Mark Sanford releases the juicy details of his torrid affair at a press conference, putting Stephen to sleep.
Jim FourattThe Colbert ReportS5
Jim Fouratt discusses the significance of the Stonewall riots for the gay rights movement and his frustration with Barack Obama.
Sign Off - One BreathThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen made it through the whole show in one breath.
Intro - 6/25/09The Colbert ReportS5
ABC turns their network over to Barack Obama, and Jim Fouratt meets the leader of the gay shame movement.
Gay Demon on the LooseThe Colbert ReportS5
A gay demon was perfectly harmless inside a gay teen, but now it's on the prowl looking to inhabit a new host.
Commonsense Health Care Reform InfomercialThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama promotes his health care plan on ABC, while Republicans propose their own health care reform with an infomercial.
The Word - StonewallingThe Colbert ReportS5
Barack Obama will give rights to the gay community once he's done putting it off.
Jeff Goldblum Will Be MissedThe Colbert ReportS5
Jeff Goldblum interrupts Stephen's report on the death of Jeff Goldblum.
Michael Jackson's Media AttentionThe Colbert ReportS5
With the media focused on Michael Jackson's death, Stephen can commit unspeakable acts of depravity without anyone noticing.
The Word - NoncensusThe Colbert ReportS5
If Americans stop counting, it will end longstanding problems like the census, the deficit and birthdays.
Neil deGrasse TysonThe Colbert ReportS5
Neil deGrasse Tyson tries to make science accessible to whomever wants to reach out and touch it.
Sign Off - Farewell, David SouterThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen hopes Justice David Souter enjoys his retirement with Norm Coleman.
Is It Time to Care About Soccer? - Alexi LalasThe Colbert ReportS5
Alexi Lalas believes the U.S. soccer team definitely has a shot at winning the World Cup.
Intro - 6/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen questions whether America should embrace soccer, and Kevin Mattson thinks Jimmy Carter was underappreciated.
Is It Time To Care About Soccer?The Colbert ReportS5
Normally, Stephen wouldn't think twice about soccer, but that was before the U.S. was good at it.
4th of July Under AttackThe Colbert ReportS5
An environmental activist sues Seattle to suspend their 4th of July fireworks display in pristine Gas Works Park.
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