The Colbert Report
Colbert Platinum - Luxury Ice & Hot Dic-Tip
Season 9 • 09/17/2013
Dean & DeLuca sells $75 bags of ice cubes, and celebrities perform for megalomaniacal dictators.
Intro - 9/16/13The Colbert ReportS9
Americans abuse the social safety net, controversy strikes the Miss America Pageant, and retired army Colonel Andrew Bacevich talks about national service.
Miss America 2013The Colbert ReportS9
Miss South Carolina talks about her state's mobile homes, and Twitter users slander the first Miss America of Indian descent.
Andrew BacevichThe Colbert ReportS9
Vietnam veteran Andrew Bacevich discusses his book, "Breach of Trust: How Americans Failed Their Soldiers and Their Country."
The Word - The Guilted AgeThe Colbert ReportS9
As more Americans apply for food stamps and disability benefits, conservative pundits and independent crusaders believe it's good to shame them.
Soul-Rending Cheerios AdThe Colbert ReportS9
Cheerios leverages the death of a grandparent and joins the ranks of undead endorsed cereals like Count Chocula.
Intro - 9/17/13The Colbert ReportS9
The rich have it better than the poor, the cereal industry makes progress, and U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan sits down with Stephen.
The People's Republic of Obamastan & Forbes 400 LosersThe Colbert ReportS9
President Obama pits the unattainably rich against the unimaginably rich, and 61 billionaires fail to make the Forbes 400 list.
Arne DuncanThe Colbert ReportS9
U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan discusses Obama's Race to the Top initiative and Preschool for All program.
Colbert Platinum - Luxury Ice & Hot Dic-TipThe Colbert ReportS9
Dean & DeLuca advertises 10 hand-carved ice cubes for $75, and Jennifer Lopez sings "Happy Birthday" to an Asian despot.
Navy Yard Shooting & Gun Violence CausesThe Colbert ReportS9
Fox News complains about background checks after the Navy Yard shooting, and Eric Bolling wonders who started blaming video games for gun violence.
Sign Off - "Damascus Countdown"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reads Joel Rosenberg's apocalyptic novel.
Syria Conflict & End Times ProphecyThe Colbert ReportS9
According to Fox News' Neil Cavuto and Armageddon enthusiast Joel Rosenberg, the Syrian conflict may bring about the apocalypse.
Nicholson BakerThe Colbert ReportS9
Author Nicholson Baker discusses his garden metaphor for life and his desire to rename genitalia.
United Nations on Syria Conflict - Andrew SullivanThe Colbert ReportS9
Political blogger Andrew Sullivan trusts the U.N. Security Council more than America to resolve the crisis in Syria.
Jack JohnsonThe Colbert ReportS9
Singer-songwriter Jack Johnson talks about rock 'n' roll, the "Hawaiian Grammys" and love songs.
Tip/Wag - Hammunition & George ClooneyThe Colbert ReportS9
An Idaho company creates pork-laced bullets to fight Muslim extremists, and George Clooney uses a spy satellite to track Omar al-Bashir's army in Sudan.
Obamacare NavigatorsThe Colbert ReportS9
Republican lawmakers in Florida restrict Obamacare navigators because they might steal the identity of the uninsured poor.
Obamacare Government ShutdownThe Colbert ReportS9
Republicans threaten to shut down the federal government if Democrats don't vote to defund Obamacare.
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