The Colbert Report
Intro - 9/16/13
Season 9 • 09/16/2013
Americans abuse the welfare system, and Andrew Bacevich supports mandatory national service.
The Colbert ReportS9 New York City Mayoral Primary
Anti-kitten Republican Joe Lhota moves to the general election, and Democratic candidate Bill de Blasio wins the gay vote against a lesbian.
The Colbert ReportS9 America's Got Serious Reservations About This - Syria - Rand Paul
Senator Rand Paul says no to diplomacy, no to Obama's plan and no to regime change in Syria.
The Colbert ReportS9 Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed Photos
Vladimir Putin writes an anti-American opinion piece in The New York Times and steals pictures from Stephen's Facebook page.
The Colbert ReportS9 Philip Mudd
Former FBI Senior Intelligence Advisor Philip Mudd talks about Al Qaeda, Syria, Colin Powell's WMD speech and enhanced interrogation techniques.
The Colbert ReportS9 Better Know a District - Washington's 7th - Jim McDermott
Congressman Jim McDermott edits the Pledge of Allegiance, supports gay marriage and throws a large salmon Stephen's way.
The Colbert ReportS9 Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed on U.S. Intervention in Syria
Russian President Vladimir Putin criticizes Obama for promoting American exceptionalism in his Syria speech.
The Colbert ReportS9 Miss America 2013
Miss South Carolina talks about her state's mobile homes, and Twitter users slander the first Miss America of Indian descent.
The Colbert ReportS9 Andrew Bacevich
Vietnam veteran Andrew Bacevich discusses his book, "Breach of Trust: How Americans Failed Their Soldiers and Their Country."
The Colbert ReportS9 The Word - The Guilted Age
As more Americans apply for food stamps and disability benefits, conservative pundits and independent crusaders believe it's good to shame them.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/16/13
Americans abuse the social safety net, controversy strikes the Miss America Pageant, and retired army Colonel Andrew Bacevich talks about national service.
The Colbert ReportS9 Soul-Rending Cheerios Ad
Cheerios leverages the death of a grandparent and joins the ranks of undead endorsed cereals like Count Chocula.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 9/17/13
The rich have it better than the poor, the cereal industry makes progress, and U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan sits down with Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS9 The People's Republic of Obamastan & Forbes 400 Losers
President Obama pits the unattainably rich against the unimaginably rich, and 61 billionaires fail to make the Forbes 400 list.
The Colbert ReportS9 Colbert Platinum - Luxury Ice & Hot Dic-Tip
Dean & DeLuca advertises 10 hand-carved ice cubes for $75, and Jennifer Lopez sings "Happy Birthday" to an Asian despot.
The Colbert ReportS9 Arne Duncan
U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan discusses Obama's Race to the Top initiative and Preschool for All program.
The Colbert ReportS9 Navy Yard Shooting & Gun Violence Causes
Fox News complains about background checks after the Navy Yard shooting, and Eric Bolling wonders who started blaming video games for gun violence.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - "Damascus Countdown"
Stephen reads Joel Rosenberg's apocalyptic novel.
The Colbert ReportS9 Syria Conflict & End Times Prophecy
According to Fox News' Neil Cavuto and Armageddon enthusiast Joel Rosenberg, the Syrian conflict may bring about the apocalypse.
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