The Colbert Report

Intro - 9/16/13

Season 9 • 09/16/2013

Americans abuse the welfare system, and Andrew Bacevich supports mandatory national service.

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03:09

The Colbert ReportS9
New York City Mayoral Primary

Anti-kitten Republican Joe Lhota moves to the general election, and Democratic candidate Bill de Blasio wins the gay vote against a lesbian.
09/11/2013
02:38

The Colbert ReportS9
America's Got Serious Reservations About This - Syria - Rand Paul

Senator Rand Paul says no to diplomacy, no to Obama's plan and no to regime change in Syria.
09/11/2013
02:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed Photos

Vladimir Putin writes an anti-American opinion piece in The New York Times and steals pictures from Stephen's Facebook page.
09/12/2013
07:04

The Colbert ReportS9
Philip Mudd

Former FBI Senior Intelligence Advisor Philip Mudd talks about Al Qaeda, Syria, Colin Powell's WMD speech and enhanced interrogation techniques.
09/12/2013
07:39

The Colbert ReportS9
Better Know a District - Washington's 7th - Jim McDermott

Congressman Jim McDermott edits the Pledge of Allegiance, supports gay marriage and throws a large salmon Stephen's way.
09/12/2013
03:16

The Colbert ReportS9
Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed on U.S. Intervention in Syria

Russian President Vladimir Putin criticizes Obama for promoting American exceptionalism in his Syria speech.
09/12/2013
00:05

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
09/12/2013
04:54

The Colbert ReportS9
Miss America 2013

Miss South Carolina talks about her state's mobile homes, and Twitter users slander the first Miss America of Indian descent.
09/16/2013
05:30

The Colbert ReportS9
Andrew Bacevich

Vietnam veteran Andrew Bacevich discusses his book, "Breach of Trust: How Americans Failed Their Soldiers and Their Country."
09/16/2013
06:35

The Colbert ReportS9
The Word - The Guilted Age

As more Americans apply for food stamps and disability benefits, conservative pundits and independent crusaders believe it's good to shame them.
09/16/2013
00:34

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 9/16/13

Americans abuse the social safety net, controversy strikes the Miss America Pageant, and retired army Colonel Andrew Bacevich talks about national service.
09/16/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen blows a kiss goodnight.
09/17/2013
04:19

The Colbert ReportS9
Soul-Rending Cheerios Ad

Cheerios leverages the death of a grandparent and joins the ranks of undead endorsed cereals like Count Chocula.
09/17/2013
00:32

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 9/17/13

The rich have it better than the poor, the cereal industry makes progress, and U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan sits down with Stephen.
09/17/2013
03:18

The Colbert ReportS9
The People's Republic of Obamastan & Forbes 400 Losers

President Obama pits the unattainably rich against the unimaginably rich, and 61 billionaires fail to make the Forbes 400 list.
09/17/2013
06:41

The Colbert ReportS9
Colbert Platinum - Luxury Ice & Hot Dic-Tip

Dean & DeLuca advertises 10 hand-carved ice cubes for $75, and Jennifer Lopez sings "Happy Birthday" to an Asian despot.
09/17/2013
05:51

The Colbert ReportS9
Arne Duncan

U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan discusses Obama's Race to the Top initiative and Preschool for All program.
09/17/2013
03:41

The Colbert ReportS9
Navy Yard Shooting & Gun Violence Causes

Fox News complains about background checks after the Navy Yard shooting, and Eric Bolling wonders who started blaming video games for gun violence.
09/18/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - "Damascus Countdown"

Stephen reads Joel Rosenberg's apocalyptic novel.
09/18/2013
05:15

The Colbert ReportS9
Syria Conflict & End Times Prophecy

According to Fox News' Neil Cavuto and Armageddon enthusiast Joel Rosenberg, the Syrian conflict may bring about the apocalypse.
09/18/2013
06:11

The Colbert ReportS9
Nicholson Baker

Author Nicholson Baker discusses his garden metaphor for life and his desire to rename genitalia.
09/18/2013
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