The Colbert Report
Intro - 9/16/13
Season 9 • 09/16/2013
Americans abuse the welfare system, and Andrew Bacevich supports mandatory national service.
New York City Mayoral PrimaryThe Colbert ReportS9
Anti-kitten Republican Joe Lhota moves to the general election, and Democratic candidate Bill de Blasio wins the gay vote against a lesbian.
America's Got Serious Reservations About This - Syria - Rand PaulThe Colbert ReportS9
Senator Rand Paul says no to diplomacy, no to Obama's plan and no to regime change in Syria.
Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed PhotosThe Colbert ReportS9
Vladimir Putin writes an anti-American opinion piece in The New York Times and steals pictures from Stephen's Facebook page.
Philip MuddThe Colbert ReportS9
Former FBI Senior Intelligence Advisor Philip Mudd talks about Al Qaeda, Syria, Colin Powell's WMD speech and enhanced interrogation techniques.
Better Know a District - Washington's 7th - Jim McDermottThe Colbert ReportS9
Congressman Jim McDermott edits the Pledge of Allegiance, supports gay marriage and throws a large salmon Stephen's way.
Vladimir Putin's Op-Ed on U.S. Intervention in SyriaThe Colbert ReportS9
Russian President Vladimir Putin criticizes Obama for promoting American exceptionalism in his Syria speech.
Miss America 2013The Colbert ReportS9
Miss South Carolina talks about her state's mobile homes, and Twitter users slander the first Miss America of Indian descent.
Andrew BacevichThe Colbert ReportS9
Vietnam veteran Andrew Bacevich discusses his book, "Breach of Trust: How Americans Failed Their Soldiers and Their Country."
The Word - The Guilted AgeThe Colbert ReportS9
As more Americans apply for food stamps and disability benefits, conservative pundits and independent crusaders believe it's good to shame them.
Intro - 9/16/13The Colbert ReportS9
Americans abuse the social safety net, controversy strikes the Miss America Pageant, and retired army Colonel Andrew Bacevich talks about national service.
Soul-Rending Cheerios AdThe Colbert ReportS9
Cheerios leverages the death of a grandparent and joins the ranks of undead endorsed cereals like Count Chocula.
Intro - 9/17/13The Colbert ReportS9
The rich have it better than the poor, the cereal industry makes progress, and U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan sits down with Stephen.
The People's Republic of Obamastan & Forbes 400 LosersThe Colbert ReportS9
President Obama pits the unattainably rich against the unimaginably rich, and 61 billionaires fail to make the Forbes 400 list.
Colbert Platinum - Luxury Ice & Hot Dic-TipThe Colbert ReportS9
Dean & DeLuca advertises 10 hand-carved ice cubes for $75, and Jennifer Lopez sings "Happy Birthday" to an Asian despot.
Arne DuncanThe Colbert ReportS9
U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan discusses Obama's Race to the Top initiative and Preschool for All program.
Navy Yard Shooting & Gun Violence CausesThe Colbert ReportS9
Fox News complains about background checks after the Navy Yard shooting, and Eric Bolling wonders who started blaming video games for gun violence.
Sign Off - "Damascus Countdown"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reads Joel Rosenberg's apocalyptic novel.
Syria Conflict & End Times ProphecyThe Colbert ReportS9
According to Fox News' Neil Cavuto and Armageddon enthusiast Joel Rosenberg, the Syrian conflict may bring about the apocalypse.
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