The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 04/29/2009
David Kessler warns that overeating is killing Americans.
Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey FluThe Colbert ReportS5
Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
No Animals Were HarmedThe Colbert ReportS5
No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
Intro - 4/28/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - CorrespondentsThe Colbert ReportS5
After taking into consideration his American hero and United Airlines platinum member status, Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf, third and third-most, as a journalist.
Foreign Reporting - Richard EngelThe Colbert ReportS5
Richard Engel shares with Stephen the customary tip for a soldier who saves your life.
Intro - 4/29/09The Colbert ReportS5
The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
Feet TeethThe Colbert ReportS5
Don't forget to brush your teeth, including your feet teeth.
Enemy Swine: A Pigcalypse NowThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen calms everyone down with his advice on swine flu.
I's On Edjukashun - Textbooks, AmeriCorps & Strip-SearchThe Colbert ReportS5
Fox News exposes liberal textbooks, AmeriCorps increases its mind control, and a girl is strip-searched for ibuprofen.
Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's SloganThe Colbert ReportS5
Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
David KesslerThe Colbert ReportS5
David Kessler wants to save lives by getting Americans to eat less.
Ethan NadelmannThe Colbert ReportS5
Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
President Obama - The First 14 MondaysThe Colbert ReportS5
The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan AlterThe Colbert ReportS5
Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
Intro - 4/30/09The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
The After ShowThe Colbert ReportS5
Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
Code Word - EmpathyThe Colbert ReportS5
Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
The Prescott Group BailoutThe Colbert ReportS5
Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
J.J. AbramsThe Colbert ReportS5
J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
Sign Off - Colbert Nation HomeThe Colbert ReportS5
Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
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