The Colbert Report

Intro - 4/29/09

Season 5 • 04/29/2009

Stephen flips to the back of the book to see if our nation has an education problem.

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Watching

01:36

The Colbert ReportS5
Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey Flu

Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
04/28/2009
00:12

The Colbert ReportS5
No Animals Were Harmed

No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
04/28/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/28/09

Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
04/28/2009
02:30

The Colbert ReportS5
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Correspondents

After taking into consideration his American hero and United Airlines platinum member status, Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf, third and third-most, as a journalist.
04/28/2009
05:10

The Colbert ReportS5
Foreign Reporting - Richard Engel

Richard Engel shares with Stephen the customary tip for a soldier who saves your life.
04/28/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
Feet Teeth

Don't forget to brush your teeth, including your feet teeth.
04/29/2009
04:51

The Colbert ReportS5
Enemy Swine: A Pigcalypse Now

Stephen calms everyone down with his advice on swine flu.
04/29/2009
05:08

The Colbert ReportS5
David Kessler

David Kessler wants to save lives by getting Americans to eat less.
04/29/2009
06:33

The Colbert ReportS5
I's On Edjukashun - Textbooks, AmeriCorps & Strip-Search

Fox News exposes liberal textbooks, AmeriCorps increases its mind control, and a girl is strip-searched for ibuprofen.
04/29/2009
02:01

The Colbert ReportS5
Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's Slogan

Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
04/29/2009
00:30

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/29/09

The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
04/29/2009
05:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Ethan Nadelmann

Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
04/30/2009
08:37

The Colbert ReportS5
President Obama - The First 14 Mondays

The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
04/30/2009
04:49

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan Alter

Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
04/30/2009
00:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 4/30/09

President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
04/30/2009
00:14

The Colbert ReportS5
The After Show

Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
04/30/2009
03:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Code Word - Empathy

Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
05/04/2009
03:47

The Colbert ReportS5
The Prescott Group Bailout

Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
05/04/2009
05:54

The Colbert ReportS5
J.J. Abrams

J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
05/04/2009
00:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Colbert Nation Home

Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
05/04/2009
05:56

The Colbert ReportS5
Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition

"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
05/04/2009
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