Comedy Central shows are now on Paramount+
Try Paramount+
Home
Shows
Episodes
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah
South Park
Doing the Most with Phoebe Robinson
Awkwafina is Nora From Queens
Broad City
Drunk History
Key & Peele
ALL SHOWS
Stand-Up
Short Form
Comedy Central Store
The Daily Show Shop
South Park Shop
Apps
TV Schedule
Live TV
The Colbert Report
Menu
Episodes & Videos
About
The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/29/09
Season 5 E 58 • 04/29/2009
The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
Show More
Watching
01:36
The Colbert Report
S5 E57
Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey Flu
Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
04/28/2009
00:12
The Colbert Report
S5 E57
No Animals Were Harmed
No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
04/28/2009
00:33
The Colbert Report
S5 E57
Intro - 4/28/09
Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
04/28/2009
02:30
The Colbert Report
S5 E57
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Correspondents
After taking into consideration his American hero and United Airlines platinum member status, Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf, third and third-most, as a journalist.
04/28/2009
05:10
The Colbert Report
S5 E57
Foreign Reporting - Richard Engel
Richard Engel shares with Stephen the customary tip for a soldier who saves your life.
04/28/2009
00:14
The Colbert Report
S5 E58
Feet Teeth
Don't forget to brush your teeth, including your feet teeth.
04/29/2009
04:51
The Colbert Report
S5 E58
Enemy Swine: A Pigcalypse Now
Stephen calms everyone down with his advice on swine flu.
04/29/2009
05:08
The Colbert Report
S5 E58
David Kessler
David Kessler wants to save lives by getting Americans to eat less.
04/29/2009
06:33
The Colbert Report
S5 E58
I's On Edjukashun - Textbooks, AmeriCorps & Strip-Search
Fox News exposes liberal textbooks, AmeriCorps increases its mind control, and a girl is strip-searched for ibuprofen.
04/29/2009
02:01
The Colbert Report
S5 E58
Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's Slogan
Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
04/29/2009
00:30
The Colbert Report
S5 E58
Intro - 4/29/09
The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
04/29/2009
05:22
The Colbert Report
S5 E59
Ethan Nadelmann
Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
04/30/2009
08:37
The Colbert Report
S5 E59
President Obama - The First 14 Mondays
The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
04/30/2009
04:49
The Colbert Report
S5 E59
Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan Alter
Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
04/30/2009
00:24
The Colbert Report
S5 E59
Intro - 4/30/09
President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
04/30/2009
00:14
The Colbert Report
S5 E59
The After Show
Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
04/30/2009
03:22
The Colbert Report
S5 E60
Code Word - Empathy
Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
05/04/2009
03:47
The Colbert Report
S5 E60
The Prescott Group Bailout
Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
05/04/2009
05:54
The Colbert Report
S5 E60
J.J. Abrams
J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
05/04/2009
00:23
The Colbert Report
S5 E60
Sign Off - Colbert Nation Home
Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
05/04/2009
05:56
The Colbert Report
S5 E60
Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition
"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
05/04/2009
You may also like
2 Videos
Trailer
00:30
Doing the Most with Phoebe Robinson
S1
Phoebe Robinson Is Doing the Most with Her Famous Friends
Phoebe Robinson steps out of her comfort zone and shares fun experiences with celebrity guests on Doing the Most with Phoebe Robinson, premiering Friday at 11/10c.
04/05/2021
Trailer
00:15
Watch the Emmy-Winning Schitt's Creek from the Beginning
Get to know the Rose family. Watch the hit comedy Schitt's Creek every Friday starting at 8/7c.
10/03/2020