The Colbert Report
Intro - 4/29/09
Season 5 E 58 • 04/29/2009
The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.

Watching

01:36
The Colbert ReportS5 E57
Arlen Specter Contracts Donkey Flu
Republicans tried to fight off donkey flu, but their white cells weren't strong enough.
04/28/2009
00:12
The Colbert ReportS5 E57
No Animals Were Harmed
No animals were harmed, but after the credits roll, all bets are off.
04/28/2009
00:33
The Colbert ReportS5 E57
Intro - 4/28/09
Stephen learns what it takes to be a foreign correspondent, besides a pad, a pencil and an anti-American bias, and drinks are on Daniel Gross.
04/28/2009
02:30
The Colbert ReportS5 E57
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Correspondents
After taking into consideration his American hero and United Airlines platinum member status, Stephen is going to the Persian Gulf, third and third-most, as a journalist.
04/28/2009
05:10
The Colbert ReportS5 E57
Foreign Reporting - Richard Engel
Richard Engel shares with Stephen the customary tip for a soldier who saves your life.
04/28/2009
00:14
The Colbert ReportS5 E58
Feet Teeth
Don't forget to brush your teeth, including your feet teeth.
04/29/2009
04:51
The Colbert ReportS5 E58
Enemy Swine: A Pigcalypse Now
Stephen calms everyone down with his advice on swine flu.
04/29/2009
05:08
The Colbert ReportS5 E58
David Kessler
David Kessler wants to save lives by getting Americans to eat less.
04/29/2009
06:33
The Colbert ReportS5 E58
I's On Edjukashun - Textbooks, AmeriCorps & Strip-Search
Fox News exposes liberal textbooks, AmeriCorps increases its mind control, and a girl is strip-searched for ibuprofen.
04/29/2009
02:01
The Colbert ReportS5 E58
Ahmadinejad Steals Obama's Slogan
Obama should have anticipated that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would copy him and picked a more effective anti-nuclear campaign slogan.
04/29/2009
00:30
The Colbert ReportS5 E58
Intro - 4/29/09
The nation may have an education problem, and David Kessler thinks Americans eat too much, which means he must have eyes.
04/29/2009
05:22
The Colbert ReportS5 E59
Ethan Nadelmann
Ethan Nadelmann wants to remove marijuana from the criminal justice system and put it into the taxation and regulation systems.
04/30/2009
08:37
The Colbert ReportS5 E59
President Obama - The First 14 Mondays
The true test of a president: running the country while living Garfield's worst nightmare.
04/30/2009
04:49
The Colbert ReportS5 E59
Obama's First 14 Mondays - Jonathan Alter
Jonathan Alter tells Stephen how Obama's first 14 Mondays stack up against FDR's.
04/30/2009
00:24
The Colbert ReportS5 E59
Intro - 4/30/09
President Obama finally completes his first 100 days, and don't tell Ethan Nadelmann Stephen's wearing a wire.
04/30/2009
00:14
The Colbert ReportS5 E59
The After Show
Stick around for the after-the-show show, which is Monday night's episode.
04/30/2009
03:22
The Colbert ReportS5 E60
Code Word - Empathy
Clearly, Obama plans to appoint a drug-addled evolutionist with swine flu to the Supreme Court.
05/04/2009
03:47
The Colbert ReportS5 E60
The Prescott Group Bailout
Help your old friends at the Prescott Group because if they go down, they're taking you with them.
05/04/2009
05:54
The Colbert ReportS5 E60
J.J. Abrams
J.J. Abrams reveals clues to Stephen's Persian Gulf mystery before Romulan Stephen demands revenge.
05/04/2009
00:23
The Colbert ReportS5 E60
Sign Off - Colbert Nation Home
Every great American's interactive adventure starts with colbertnation.com.
05/04/2009
05:56
The Colbert ReportS5 E60
Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer Movie Edition
"Up" is a fantastic solution to our Social Security problem: we tie old people to balloons and let them fly away.
05/04/2009
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