The Colbert Report

Ted Cruz's Humble Portrait

Season 9 • 07/30/2013

Texas Senator Ted Cruz admires a huge painting of himself losing a Supreme Court case.

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00:37

Intro - 7/29/13
The Colbert ReportS9

America finds a way to stop Obamacare, gun rights secure a victory, and the Lumineers re-release their first album.
07/29/2013
06:27

Tip/Wag - Steve Stockman, David Cameron & North Carolina Legislature
The Colbert ReportS9

Texas Congressman Steve Stockman unrolls a 60-foot Benghazi petition, Prime Minister David Cameron filters porn, and North Carolina permits concealed handguns on playgrounds.
07/29/2013
05:10

Obamacare Cards
The Colbert ReportS9

As Obamacare starts to work in 11 states, Tea Party group FreedomWorks announces a "Burn Your Obamacare Card" campaign.
07/29/2013
04:21

The Lumineers
The Colbert ReportS9

The Lumineers talk about moving to Denver and screaming "Ho Hey" at loud audience members.
07/29/2013
00:08

Sign Off - Tambourine
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen makes music like the Lumineers.
07/29/2013
00:36

Intro - 7/30/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Trouble brews in the Arctic, America considers candidate transparency, and Dr. Atul Gawande explains how ideas catch on.
07/30/2013
04:00

Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches: North Pole Lake
The Colbert ReportS9

The melting Arctic icecap is just an isolated incident that's occurred every summer since 2003, so there's no reason to panic.
07/30/2013
02:06

Senator Gridlock
The Colbert ReportS9

Tea Partiers punish the leader of the do-nothing Congress, Mitch McConnell, for the handful of times he done did something.
07/30/2013
00:07

Sign Off - Sleigh Bells
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen plays an instrument from the melting North Pole.
07/30/2013
06:04

Atul Gawande
The Colbert ReportS9

Atul Gawande discusses his New Yorker article, "Slow Ideas: Some ideas spread fast. How do you speed the ones that don't?"
07/30/2013
03:32

Ted Cruz's Humble Portrait
The Colbert ReportS9

Senator Ted Cruz hangs a giant painting of himself in court but doesn't mention what noble cause he championed that day.
07/30/2013
04:13

Stephen Colbert's Super Coin Toss
The Colbert ReportS9

Board game makers tailor their products for today's attention-deficient child and Stephen loses at his own game.
07/31/2013
05:07

Emily Matchar
The Colbert ReportS9

Journalist Emily Matchar explains America's re-embracing of lost domestic arts and practices.
07/31/2013
04:10

Lunch or Campaign 2016?
The Colbert ReportS9

A White House lunch between President Obama and Hillary Clinton spurs 2016 presidential campaign speculation.
07/31/2013
00:14

Sign Off - Game Over
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen loses at Stephen Colbert's Super Coin Toss.
07/31/2013
04:09

Bradley Manning Verdict
The Colbert ReportS9

WikiLeaker Bradley Manning evades the most serious charge leveled against him, but could still receive a 154-year slap on the wrist.
07/31/2013
00:41

Intro - 7/31/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Hillary Clinton presidential speculation increases, Simon Cowell impregnates his friend's wife, and Emily Matchar charts the return of traditional homemaking activities.
07/31/2013
02:16

Chris Christie vs. Rand Paul
The Colbert ReportS9

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Kentucky Senator Rand Paul trade barbs.
07/31/2013
02:22

Grab-Ask 5800
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen devises a foolproof system to help Bob Filner navigate the sexual rules of the modern workplace.
08/01/2013
00:36

Intro - 8/1/13
The Colbert ReportS9

Shocking news comes from Gitmo, San Diego's mayor faces sexual misconduct charges, and "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston talks about the final season.
08/01/2013
00:06

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS9

Stephen raises a brow.
08/01/2013
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