The Colbert Report
Ted Cruz's Humble Portrait
Season 9 • 07/30/2013
Texas Senator Ted Cruz admires a huge painting of himself losing a Supreme Court case.
Intro - 7/29/13The Colbert ReportS9
America finds a way to stop Obamacare, gun rights secure a victory, and the Lumineers re-release their first album.
Tip/Wag - Steve Stockman, David Cameron & North Carolina LegislatureThe Colbert ReportS9
Texas Congressman Steve Stockman unrolls a 60-foot Benghazi petition, Prime Minister David Cameron filters porn, and North Carolina permits concealed handguns on playgrounds.
Obamacare CardsThe Colbert ReportS9
As Obamacare starts to work in 11 states, Tea Party group FreedomWorks announces a "Burn Your Obamacare Card" campaign.
The LumineersThe Colbert ReportS9
The Lumineers talk about moving to Denver and screaming "Ho Hey" at loud audience members.
Intro - 7/30/13The Colbert ReportS9
Trouble brews in the Arctic, America considers candidate transparency, and Dr. Atul Gawande explains how ideas catch on.
Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches: North Pole LakeThe Colbert ReportS9
The melting Arctic icecap is just an isolated incident that's occurred every summer since 2003, so there's no reason to panic.
Senator GridlockThe Colbert ReportS9
Tea Partiers punish the leader of the do-nothing Congress, Mitch McConnell, for the handful of times he done did something.
Sign Off - Sleigh BellsThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen plays an instrument from the melting North Pole.
Atul GawandeThe Colbert ReportS9
Atul Gawande discusses his New Yorker article, "Slow Ideas: Some ideas spread fast. How do you speed the ones that don't?"
Ted Cruz's Humble PortraitThe Colbert ReportS9
Senator Ted Cruz hangs a giant painting of himself in court but doesn't mention what noble cause he championed that day.
Stephen Colbert's Super Coin TossThe Colbert ReportS9
Board game makers tailor their products for today's attention-deficient child and Stephen loses at his own game.
Emily MatcharThe Colbert ReportS9
Journalist Emily Matchar explains America's re-embracing of lost domestic arts and practices.
Lunch or Campaign 2016?The Colbert ReportS9
A White House lunch between President Obama and Hillary Clinton spurs 2016 presidential campaign speculation.
Sign Off - Game OverThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen loses at Stephen Colbert's Super Coin Toss.
Bradley Manning VerdictThe Colbert ReportS9
WikiLeaker Bradley Manning evades the most serious charge leveled against him, but could still receive a 154-year slap on the wrist.
Intro - 7/31/13The Colbert ReportS9
Hillary Clinton presidential speculation increases, Simon Cowell impregnates his friend's wife, and Emily Matchar charts the return of traditional homemaking activities.
Chris Christie vs. Rand PaulThe Colbert ReportS9
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Kentucky Senator Rand Paul trade barbs.
Grab-Ask 5800The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen devises a foolproof system to help Bob Filner navigate the sexual rules of the modern workplace.
Intro - 8/1/13The Colbert ReportS9
Shocking news comes from Gitmo, San Diego's mayor faces sexual misconduct charges, and "Breaking Bad" star Bryan Cranston talks about the final season.
You may also like5 Videos
Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack
A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie
Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed FriendsCursed Friends
Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
Out of Office Explores Remote Work AbsurdityOut of Office
A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.