The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Water Eyeballing
Season 6 • 06/01/2010
Stephen pours water into his eyeball.
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Ace the SATsThe Colbert ReportS6
An MIT study finds that longer essays get better scores, so ideally your writing section should read like Glenn Beck's teleprompter.
Intro - 5/13/10The Colbert ReportS6
Glenn Beck sheds his snake skin, and Stephen reminds the Hold Steady that Heaven is whenever Jesus can fit them in.
Sign Off - Time-Traveling Brandy ThiefThe Colbert ReportS6
The time-traveling brandy thief was a worthy adversary, and he will be missed.
The Hold SteadyThe Colbert ReportS6
Craig Finn and Tad Kubler talk about Heaven, Mother Teresa and their rock prophets.
Confirming ElenaThe Colbert ReportS6
The New York Post isn't saying Elena Kagan is a lesbian, it's just asking the question next to a photo of her playing softball.
Failure to Launch - Atlantis CrewThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen asks the Atlantis crew for advice on how he can prepare himself for space.
Ayaan Hirsi AliThe Colbert ReportS6
Ayaan Hirsi Ali wants us to shed the inhibition of judging and say that one religion is better than the other.
Up Brit CreekThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen finds the villain in the hit summer series, "Grainy Footage of Leaking Underwater Oil Pipe."
Vodka EyeballingThe Colbert ReportS6
If you think metaphorical beer goggles are bad, imagine what literal vodka goggles will make you do.
Intro - 6/1/10The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen finds out who's to blame for the BP oil spill and refuses to get up close and personal with Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
Sign Off - Water EyeballingThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen says goodnight and pours water into his eyeball.
Tip/Wag - Foxconn, Charles Taylor & Naomi CampbellThe Colbert ReportS6
Foxconn makes their workers sign a non-suicide pact, and prosecutors call for Naomi Campbell to testify against Charles Taylor.
Japan's Special Election - Kazuo MyazakiThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen endorses Disembodied Japanese Robot Mouth for Japan's next prime minister and tests Kazuo Myazaki on who he thinks will win.
Lisa MillerThe Colbert ReportS6
Lisa Miller says the problem with the popular belief about Heaven right now is that God isn't there.
Sign Off - Parting Gifts for Kazuo MyazakiThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen checks in with Kazuo Myazaki and offers him some lovely parting gifts.
Intro - 6/2/10The Colbert ReportS6
Stephen shows shocking footage of someone working in Spain, and Lisa Miller spends seven minutes in Heaven.
Craziest F#?ing Thing I've Ever Heard - Gored BullfighterThe Colbert ReportS6
Famed bullfighter Julio Aparicio gets gored in the throat so deep that the bull's horn comes out of his mouth.
Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - iPad Suit PocketThe Colbert ReportS6
While the Wall Street Journal was ignoring Stephen's contribution to men's fashion, he invented a new kind of pocket.
Crude & UnusualThe Colbert ReportS6
The nuclear option isn't guaranteed to work and would violate international treaties, but it would turn the ocean floor into glass.
Vampire WeekendThe Colbert ReportS6
Stephen reads Vampire Weekend "The Elements of Style" to prove the necessity of the Oxford comma.
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