The Colbert Report

Sign Off - Water Eyeballing

Season 6 • 06/01/2010

Stephen pours water into his eyeball.

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05:07

Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Ace the SATs
The Colbert ReportS6

An MIT study finds that longer essays get better scores, so ideally your writing section should read like Glenn Beck's teleprompter.
05/12/2010
00:36

Intro - 5/13/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Glenn Beck sheds his snake skin, and Stephen reminds the Hold Steady that Heaven is whenever Jesus can fit them in.
05/13/2010
00:12

Sign Off - Time-Traveling Brandy Thief
The Colbert ReportS6

The time-traveling brandy thief was a worthy adversary, and he will be missed.
05/13/2010
03:33

The Hold Steady
The Colbert ReportS6

Craig Finn and Tad Kubler talk about Heaven, Mother Teresa and their rock prophets.
05/13/2010
04:22

Confirming Elena
The Colbert ReportS6

The New York Post isn't saying Elena Kagan is a lesbian, it's just asking the question next to a photo of her playing softball.
05/13/2010
06:59

Failure to Launch - Atlantis Crew
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen asks the Atlantis crew for advice on how he can prepare himself for space.
06/01/2010
06:05

Ayaan Hirsi Ali
The Colbert ReportS6

Ayaan Hirsi Ali wants us to shed the inhibition of judging and say that one religion is better than the other.
06/01/2010
03:25

Up Brit Creek
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen finds the villain in the hit summer series, "Grainy Footage of Leaking Underwater Oil Pipe."
06/01/2010
02:27

Vodka Eyeballing
The Colbert ReportS6

If you think metaphorical beer goggles are bad, imagine what literal vodka goggles will make you do.
06/01/2010
00:39

Intro - 6/1/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen finds out who's to blame for the BP oil spill and refuses to get up close and personal with Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
06/01/2010
00:09

Sign Off - Water Eyeballing
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen says goodnight and pours water into his eyeball.
06/01/2010
05:08

Tip/Wag - Foxconn, Charles Taylor & Naomi Campbell
The Colbert ReportS6

Foxconn makes their workers sign a non-suicide pact, and prosecutors call for Naomi Campbell to testify against Charles Taylor.
06/02/2010
04:21

Japan's Special Election - Kazuo Myazaki
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen endorses Disembodied Japanese Robot Mouth for Japan's next prime minister and tests Kazuo Myazaki on who he thinks will win.
06/02/2010
06:35

Lisa Miller
The Colbert ReportS6

Lisa Miller says the problem with the popular belief about Heaven right now is that God isn't there.
06/02/2010
00:19

Sign Off - Parting Gifts for Kazuo Myazaki
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen checks in with Kazuo Myazaki and offers him some lovely parting gifts.
06/02/2010
00:31

Intro - 6/2/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen shows shocking footage of someone working in Spain, and Lisa Miller spends seven minutes in Heaven.
06/02/2010
02:52

Craziest F#?ing Thing I've Ever Heard - Gored Bullfighter
The Colbert ReportS6

Famed bullfighter Julio Aparicio gets gored in the throat so deep that the bull's horn comes out of his mouth.
06/02/2010
02:13

Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - iPad Suit Pocket
The Colbert ReportS6

While the Wall Street Journal was ignoring Stephen's contribution to men's fashion, he invented a new kind of pocket.
06/03/2010
03:20

Crude & Unusual
The Colbert ReportS6

The nuclear option isn't guaranteed to work and would violate international treaties, but it would turn the ocean floor into glass.
06/03/2010
04:26

Vampire Weekend
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen reads Vampire Weekend "The Elements of Style" to prove the necessity of the Oxford comma.
06/03/2010
00:28

Intro - 6/3/10
The Colbert ReportS6

Stephen visits the offices of Consumer Reports, and Vampire Weekend makes a rare vampire weeknight appearance.
06/03/2010
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