The Colbert Report
The Word - Quitter
Season 1 • 10/27/2005
Supreme Court justices are not quitters; they are die-ers.
The Word - PerspectiveThe Colbert ReportS1
There's nothing wrong with the number 2,000. Hell, five years ago we were celebrating it.
Tip/Wag - Public Nudity AdviceThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen offers some advice on showing skin to Lauren Hutton and reads from his new book, "Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure."
OutsourcingThe Colbert ReportS1
In India, they don't fall in love -- they learn to love.
Better Know a District - Massachusetts' 4th - Barney FrankThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen sits down with Congressman Barney Frank to discus life as part of a highly discriminated minority group: lefties.
Fract - The StatesThe Colbert ReportS1
Statistics show that the number of states that make up America is greater than that of Canada and Mexico combined.
Lieber - White PumpkinsThe Colbert ReportS1
Russ Lieber's hatred of white pumpkins forces Stephen to love them.
Jeff DanielsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen quizzes Jeff Daniels on the town in Michigan where he lives and talks about Easter egg hunting at Sly Stone's house.
Intro - 10/27/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen highlights the various aspects of Harriet Miers on The Report's agenda.
Yet Another Day - Checking in with Christina and ErnestoThe Colbert ReportS1
Christina and Ernesto tell Stephen what can be expected on the next episode of Yet Another Day.
Bookshelf of Broken DreamsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen takes a look at his Bookshelf of Broken Dreams, where he reminisces over some memorable Supreme Court justices from the past.
The Word - QuitterThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen calls out Harriet Miers for being this episode's word: a "quitter."
Fract - Greatest LakesThe Colbert ReportS1
America is home to five of the greatest lakes in the world.
RocktoberThe Colbert ReportS1
There was a time when Americans took the month of October to celebrate the values of classic rock: pounding beats, grinding guitars and single-syllable lyrics about boobs.
Patrick Fitzgerald's Press ConferenceThe Colbert ReportS1
Nobody in the press got good answers out of Patrick Fitzgerald because they didn't use the right tactics.
Criminal IntentThe Colbert ReportS1
Over the weekend there was quite a bit of shocking news in the legal world -- of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."
Monica CrowleyThe Colbert ReportS1
Monica Crowley bears no relation to Alistair Crowley, the founder of modern Satanism, though Stephen could imagine a resemblance if she shaved her head and held a goat skull.
The Word - AlitoThe Colbert ReportS1
Samuel Alito believes that a woman should have to tell her husband she's having an abortion, even if he's bearing arms -- which, constitutionally, could include machine guns.
Stephen Settles the Debate - Ramadan or Halloween?The Colbert ReportS1
Ramadan and Halloween are both important holidays that involve ritual and tradition -- which one wins?
Intro - 10/31/05The Colbert ReportS1
Coming up, Patrick Fitzgerald tears the country apart, President Bush appoints another Catholic Supreme Court nominee and how to cope with Halloween if you're a Muslim.
Emergency Evacuation PlanThe Colbert ReportS1
If we've learned anything from all the hurricanes, earthquakes, terrorist attacks and pending fatwas -- you need to be prepared for an emergency
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