The Colbert Report
Emergency Evacuation Plan
Season 1 • 11/01/2005
Phase one of The Colbert Report Evacuation Plan: Save Stephen.
Patrick Fitzgerald's Press ConferenceThe Colbert ReportS1
Nobody in the press got good answers out of Patrick Fitzgerald because they didn't use the right tactics.
Criminal IntentThe Colbert ReportS1
Over the weekend there was quite a bit of shocking news in the legal world -- of "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."
Monica CrowleyThe Colbert ReportS1
Monica Crowley bears no relation to Alistair Crowley, the founder of modern Satanism, though Stephen could imagine a resemblance if she shaved her head and held a goat skull.
The Word - AlitoThe Colbert ReportS1
Samuel Alito believes that a woman should have to tell her husband she's having an abortion, even if he's bearing arms -- which, constitutionally, could include machine guns.
Stephen Settles the Debate - Ramadan or Halloween?The Colbert ReportS1
Ramadan and Halloween are both important holidays that involve ritual and tradition -- which one wins?
Intro - 10/31/05The Colbert ReportS1
Coming up, Patrick Fitzgerald tears the country apart, President Bush appoints another Catholic Supreme Court nominee and how to cope with Halloween if you're a Muslim.
The Word - Camilla-ManiaThe Colbert ReportS1
A return to pageantry and glamour, and Milla is bringing the goods.
Formidable Opponent - CharityThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen turns to the only man with the balls to go to the mat on the charity issue -- himself.
Ken BurnsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen asks Ken Burns why nobody is doing a documentary about his show.
Intro - 11/1/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen talks to documentarian Ken Burns, while Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles begin their tour of America.
Emergency Evacuation PlanThe Colbert ReportS1
If we've learned anything from all the hurricanes, earthquakes, terrorist attacks and pending fatwas -- you need to be prepared for an emergency
FatwaThe Colbert ReportS1
There is a death warrant out for Stephen Colbert because he said Halloween is a better holiday than Ramadan.
Bruce FeilerThe Colbert ReportS1
Bruce Feiler has walked the Bible and believes that God was born in Iraq.
The Word - CatThe Colbert ReportS1
A new radio station plays music for lonely house-bound pets, prompting Stephen to question if we, as a society, over-pamper our animals.
The War on Wal-MartThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen called the war on Wal-Mart before The New York Times did.
C-Span CoverageThe Colbert ReportS1
C-Span 2 had some very alternative coverage during the Senate's closed-door session, and The New York Times has never heard of "truthiness."
Lieber - One TesticleThe Colbert ReportS1
Russ Lieber leaves Stephen a voicemail with the story of why he has one testicle.
Intro - 11/2/05The Colbert ReportS1
Tonight's episode features dancing with dogs, biblical scholar/food writer Bruce Feiler, Wal-Mart's deadly secret and cross words for The New York Times.
Fract - Karl MarxThe Colbert ReportS1
Karl Marx wasn't so smart. He spelled "Capital" with a "K"!
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