The Colbert Report
Season 3 • 03/19/2007
Dr. Jerome Groopman explains how doctors think.
St. Patrick's DayThe Colbert ReportS3
St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
Sign Off - CandyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
Intro - 3/15/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to Ayaan Hirsi Ali about fundamentalist Islam, and President Bush returns from his trip to Latin America.
Better Know a District - Illinois' 17th - Phil HareThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes his vitamin E -- a couple of caplets in the mouth keeps the blood flow going south.
Emanuel Attacks StephenThe Colbert ReportS3
Congressman Rahm Emanuel tells freshman students to avoid Stephen, and Stephen fights back by offering the congressman a severed finger.
Alpha Dog of the Week - PenniesThe Colbert ReportS3
After getting charged triple the amount of his normal electric bill, Robert Hancock paid the damage in pennies and is thus named Alpha Dog of the Week.
Willie Nelson TomorrowThe Colbert ReportS3
In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
The Word - Pound of FleshThe Colbert ReportS3
South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs.
ThreatDown - SeniorsThe Colbert ReportS3
Time Magazine, angry dancing seniors, fertility clinics and the FDA are all threatening America.
Intro - 3/19/07The Colbert ReportS3
Prisoners can donate organs in South Carolina, senior citizens speak out against the war in Iraq, and Stephen speaks with author Jerome Groopman
Jerome GroopmanThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
Stephen Colbert Day - HonorThe Colbert ReportS3
In celebration of Stephen Colbert Day, Stephen takes a few moments to honor Oshawa, Ontario, the city that will now give him free parking.
Willie RecallThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen goes after Willie Nelson for his competing ice cream flavor with a vicious ad campaign.
Intro - 3/20/07The Colbert ReportS3
Scientist do some renovating inside the womb, Stephen gives us a reason to visit Canada, and country musician Willie Nelson stops by.
Willie NelsonThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen and Willie Nelson sample each other's ice creams for the first time. Willie enjoys Americone Dream and Stephen accepts an unspoken apology.
The Word - SupernaturalThe Colbert ReportS3
After reading an article about babies being "turned straight" in the womb, Stephen feels everything should be genetically engineered to look more like the Bible says.
ThreatDown - Polar Bear CubThe Colbert ReportS3
After a mama polar bear rejected her cub the zoo planned to care for it but activist Frank Albrecht felt the cub should be killed -- Stephen agrees.
Impeach BushThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen supports President Bush by antagonizing the Democrats and telling Congress to strap on their balls.
Stephen's Stoned FriendThe Colbert ReportS3
After the ice cream feud is finally settled, Stephen hangs out with Willie Nelson on his tour bus and Willie becomes Stephen's new stoned friend.
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