The Colbert Report

Stephen's Stoned Friend

Season 3 • 03/21/2007

Stephen and Willie Nelson finally end the ice cream feud.

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00:27

Intro - 3/20/07
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Scientist do some renovating inside the womb, Stephen gives us a reason to visit Canada, and country musician Willie Nelson stops by.
03/20/2007
05:06

Willie Nelson
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Stephen and Willie Nelson sample each other's ice creams for the first time. Willie enjoys Americone Dream and Stephen accepts an unspoken apology.
03/20/2007
03:19

The Word - Supernatural
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After reading an article about babies being "turned straight" in the womb, Stephen feels everything should be genetically engineered to look more like the Bible says.
03/20/2007
01:49

ThreatDown - Polar Bear Cub
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After a mama polar bear rejected her cub the zoo planned to care for it but activist Frank Albrecht felt the cub should be killed -- Stephen agrees.
03/20/2007
02:48

Impeach Bush
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Stephen supports President Bush by antagonizing the Democrats and telling Congress to strap on their balls.
03/21/2007
00:04

Sign Off - Goodnights
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Stephen bids his many goodnights.
03/21/2007
03:31

The Word - Sex
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Richard Cizik's speaking out about hurting the environment dilutes Christianity's first priority of promoting sexual abstinence.
03/21/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/21/07
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Evangelicals can't see eye to eye on global warming, Stephen presents a segment in the name of writing off his summer home and Benjamin Barber stops by to not plug his book.
03/21/2007
04:53

Better Know a District - New York's 22nd - Maurice Hinchey
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Stephen speaks with Congressman Maurice Hinchey about New York's 22nd district, the brown acid, great one-liners of the Borsch Belt and the best way to bring the troops home.
03/21/2007
06:29

Benjamin Barber
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Benjamin Barber explains why consumer culture is bad for humanity and Stephen inquires as to whether he's a Subway or a Quiznos man.
03/21/2007
01:29

Stephen's Stoned Friend
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After the ice cream feud is finally settled, Stephen hangs out with Willie Nelson on his tour bus and Willie becomes Stephen's new stoned friend.
03/21/2007
01:37

Infomosexual Graphics
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Stephen explains that USA Today printed a homosexually suggestive infographic in its money section.
03/22/2007
01:24

Face-Reading Expert
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A face-reading expert from the Chicago Sun Times analyzes the features of Stephen's face.
03/22/2007
00:32

Intro - 3/22/07
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Washington, D.C. may get a vote, Louisiana bans cockfighting and Steven interviews CBS Evening News anchorwoman Katie Couric.
03/22/2007
04:45

Sport Report - NCAA Final Four
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Stephen discusses March Madness and then talks with Coach Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit about the upcoming playoffs.
03/22/2007
00:13

Sign Off - Future
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Stephen encourages his audience to join him for his upcoming show on Monday -- in the future.
03/22/2007
06:29

Katie Couric
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Stephen wonders if Katie Couric would have an easier time delivering the news if she did it as a man.
03/22/2007
04:36

Eleanor Holmes Norton
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Stephen doesn't see why D.C. residents should get a vote in Congress if they could just open a window and yell to have their voices heard.
03/22/2007
02:21

Mummy
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Stephen missed his chance to bid in future auctions with an ancient mummified hand for a paddle.
03/26/2007
02:09

Torture Gonzales
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How dare Chuck Hagel say we're living in a monarchy? The president should confiscate his lands and deny his peerage.
03/26/2007
03:48

Stephen Colbert Day
The Colbert ReportS3

Oshawa, Ontario celebrates Stephen Colbert Day with a look-a-like contest.
03/26/2007
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