The Colbert Report
Stephen's Stoned Friend
Season 3 • 03/21/2007
Stephen and Willie Nelson finally end the ice cream feud.
Intro - 3/20/07The Colbert ReportS3
Scientist do some renovating inside the womb, Stephen gives us a reason to visit Canada, and country musician Willie Nelson stops by.
Willie NelsonThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen and Willie Nelson sample each other's ice creams for the first time. Willie enjoys Americone Dream and Stephen accepts an unspoken apology.
The Word - SupernaturalThe Colbert ReportS3
After reading an article about babies being "turned straight" in the womb, Stephen feels everything should be genetically engineered to look more like the Bible says.
ThreatDown - Polar Bear CubThe Colbert ReportS3
After a mama polar bear rejected her cub the zoo planned to care for it but activist Frank Albrecht felt the cub should be killed -- Stephen agrees.
Impeach BushThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen supports President Bush by antagonizing the Democrats and telling Congress to strap on their balls.
The Word - SexThe Colbert ReportS3
Richard Cizik's speaking out about hurting the environment dilutes Christianity's first priority of promoting sexual abstinence.
Intro - 3/21/07The Colbert ReportS3
Evangelicals can't see eye to eye on global warming, Stephen presents a segment in the name of writing off his summer home and Benjamin Barber stops by to not plug his book.
Better Know a District - New York's 22nd - Maurice HincheyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen speaks with Congressman Maurice Hinchey about New York's 22nd district, the brown acid, great one-liners of the Borsch Belt and the best way to bring the troops home.
Benjamin BarberThe Colbert ReportS3
Benjamin Barber explains why consumer culture is bad for humanity and Stephen inquires as to whether he's a Subway or a Quiznos man.
Stephen's Stoned FriendThe Colbert ReportS3
After the ice cream feud is finally settled, Stephen hangs out with Willie Nelson on his tour bus and Willie becomes Stephen's new stoned friend.
Infomosexual GraphicsThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen explains that USA Today printed a homosexually suggestive infographic in its money section.
Face-Reading ExpertThe Colbert ReportS3
A face-reading expert from the Chicago Sun Times analyzes the features of Stephen's face.
Intro - 3/22/07The Colbert ReportS3
Washington, D.C. may get a vote, Louisiana bans cockfighting and Steven interviews CBS Evening News anchorwoman Katie Couric.
Sport Report - NCAA Final FourThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen discusses March Madness and then talks with Coach Mancini of the Saginaw Spirit about the upcoming playoffs.
Sign Off - FutureThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen encourages his audience to join him for his upcoming show on Monday -- in the future.
Katie CouricThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen wonders if Katie Couric would have an easier time delivering the news if she did it as a man.
Eleanor Holmes NortonThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen doesn't see why D.C. residents should get a vote in Congress if they could just open a window and yell to have their voices heard.
MummyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen missed his chance to bid in future auctions with an ancient mummified hand for a paddle.
Torture GonzalesThe Colbert ReportS3
How dare Chuck Hagel say we're living in a monarchy? The president should confiscate his lands and deny his peerage.
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