The Colbert Report
Intro - 3/15/07
Season 3 • 03/15/2007
Stephen hopes President Bush doesn't notice that Alberto Gonzales broke his crystal egg.
Sign Off - United We LickThe Colbert ReportS3
Although Stephen can't enjoy his ice cream until Lent ends, his famous friends can.
When Ancestors Attack - Barack ObamaThe Colbert ReportS3
Remember -- John F. Kennedy's presidential chances were almost spoiled when questions were asked about his heritage
The Word - High FidelityThe Colbert ReportS3
Upset you got fired, U.S. Attorneys? That's what unemployment insurance is for.
Intro - 3/14/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen talks to Ed Viesturs about climbing Mount Everest, and Bush draws increasing criticism for trying to install his own people as U.S. Attorneys.
Rocky Mountain HighThe Colbert ReportS3
As an avid outdoorsman, Stephen understands that Rocky Mountain High is not about drugs.
Ed ViestursThe Colbert ReportS3
Ed Viesturs agrees to plant a Colbert Report flag on top of Mount Everest the next time he goes.
Ayaan Hirsi AliThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks Ayaan Hirsi Ali if fundamentalist Christians should battle fundamentalist Muslims.
St. Patrick's DayThe Colbert ReportS3
St. Patrick's Day can't go on now that geneticists have discovered that the English and the Irish are a single people.
Sign Off - CandyThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen plans out a sweet dreamscape for his loyal audience.
Better Know a District - Illinois' 17th - Phil HareThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes his vitamin E -- a couple of caplets in the mouth keeps the blood flow going south.
Intro - 3/15/07The Colbert ReportS3
In tonight's episode, Stephen talks to Ayaan Hirsi Ali about fundamentalist Islam, and President Bush returns from his trip to Latin America.
Emanuel Attacks StephenThe Colbert ReportS3
Congressman Rahm Emanuel tells freshman students to avoid Stephen, and Stephen fights back by offering the congressman a severed finger.
Alpha Dog of the Week - PenniesThe Colbert ReportS3
After getting charged triple the amount of his normal electric bill, Robert Hancock paid the damage in pennies and is thus named Alpha Dog of the Week.
Willie Nelson TomorrowThe Colbert ReportS3
In anticipation of Willie Nelson's appearance on The Report, Stephen speaks out against Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler ice cream and promotes Americone Dream.
Jerome GroopmanThe Colbert ReportS3
Dr. Jerome Groopman discusses "How Doctors Think" and explains that Dr. Gregory House is based on Sherlock Holmes, who was addicted to cocaine, not heroine.
The Word - Pound of FleshThe Colbert ReportS3
South Carolina has come up with a program to help control the prisoner population -- inmates can reduce their sentences by donating vital organs.
ThreatDown - SeniorsThe Colbert ReportS3
Time Magazine, angry dancing seniors, fertility clinics and the FDA are all threatening America.
Intro - 3/19/07The Colbert ReportS3
Prisoners can donate organs in South Carolina, senior citizens speak out against the war in Iraq, and Stephen speaks with author Jerome Groopman
Stephen Colbert Day - HonorThe Colbert ReportS3
In celebration of Stephen Colbert Day, Stephen takes a few moments to honor Oshawa, Ontario, the city that will now give him free parking.
Willie RecallThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen goes after Willie Nelson for his competing ice cream flavor with a vicious ad campaign.
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