The Colbert Report

Human Week

Season 5 • 08/05/2009

If the Discovery Channel really wants to frighten us, they should have Human Week.

More

Watching

00:31

Intro - 8/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

President Obama finds a way to pay for health care, and General Anthony Zinni will wax Stephen's chest.
08/03/2009
04:57

The Word - Hippie Replacement
The Colbert ReportS5

Soon America's grassroots people-power movements will be rid of the one thing that's holding them back: people.
08/04/2009
06:24

Kurt Andersen
The Colbert ReportS5

According to Kurt Andersen, the economic and health crises give Americans a brief chance to get things where they want them.
08/04/2009
00:10

Sign Off - Love Makes the World Go Round
The Colbert ReportS5

Love makes the world go round, so stop hogging all the credit, physics.
08/04/2009
04:57

Colbert Bump Cocktail - David Wondrich
The Colbert ReportS5

David Wondrich serves Stephen drinks from the Great Depression and the Civil War, and invents a Colbert Bump cocktail.
08/04/2009
02:42

Merry Barackmas
The Colbert ReportS5

Karl Marx takes gifts from Stephen to give to lazy people who don't deserve nice things.
08/04/2009
08:11

2010 Midterms - Joe Sestak
The Colbert ReportS5

Joe Sestak is running against Arlen Specter for the Pennsylvania Senate seat so he can bring health care reform to all Americans.
08/05/2009
02:44

Bill Clinton's Personal Appearance
The Colbert ReportS5

Bill Clinton frees two journalists from North Korea, but Laura Ling leaves without her delicious sandwich.
08/05/2009
05:49

Kris Kobach
The Colbert ReportS5

Kris Kobach wants to fight illegal immigration on the local level and reward the people willing to come to this country legally.
08/05/2009
00:02

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen says goodnight.
08/05/2009
03:13

Human Week
The Colbert ReportS5

Since sharks don't kill that many people, the Discovery Channel should replace their Shark Week with Human Week.
08/05/2009
06:03

Meryl Streep
The Colbert ReportS5

Meryl Streep won't feel responsible if her role as Julia Child influences kids to think cooking is cool.
08/06/2009
00:34

Intro - 8/6/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen reviews the movies that are destroying America and talks to Meryl Streep about her role as Julia Child.
08/06/2009
06:00

Yahweh or No Way - Dinosaur Adventure Land & Black Market Kidneys
The Colbert ReportS5

The founder of a creationist dinosaur theme park refuses to pay taxes, President Obama may be a secret Mormon, and a Jewish man trades kidneys on the black market.
08/06/2009
00:04

Sign Off - Goodnight
The Colbert ReportS5

That's it for The Report, everybody.
08/06/2009
02:27

Back to School With Jeremih
The Colbert ReportS5

Chicago Public Schools officials appoint Jeremih, the guy who sings "Birthday Sex," as their new back-to-school spokesman.
08/06/2009
04:32

Movies That Are Destroying America - Summer
The Colbert ReportS5

"G.I. Joe" helps the French, and "Orphan" doesn't go far enough in reversing the harmful stereotype that adoption is good.
08/06/2009
05:42

Barbara Boxer
The Colbert ReportS5

Barbara Boxer's new novel, "Blind Trust," is about a liberal California senator involved in a scandal, but it's not a veiled confession.
08/10/2009
00:33

Intro - 8/10/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Vladimir Putin returns to the spotlight, and Stephen interviews Barbara Boxer with deaf suspicion.
08/10/2009
04:54

Cold War Update - Cuba & Topless Putin
The Colbert ReportS5

Obama stops a pro-democracy ticker, Cuba runs out of toilet paper, and Vladimir Putin goes topless on his Siberian vacation.
08/10/2009
00:15

Sign Off - Encore
The Colbert ReportS5

It can't be the end of the show, so Stephen's going to stick around and see if he does an encore.
08/10/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:15

Kal Penn Returns to The Daily Show as Guest Host
The Daily ShowS28

Actor, author and former White House staffer Kal Penn is back as guest host of The Daily Show for a week of all-new episodes, starting Monday at 11/10c.
12/08/2023
Trailer
00:30

XXXI Days of Announcing the Holidays

Andrew Catalon of CBS Sports rings in the holiday season with expert commentary on the festive shows, movies and specials airing all December long!
12/01/2023
Trailer
01:43

"South Park: Snow Day!" Video Game Showcases New Gameplay
South Park

"South Park: Snow Day!" immerses players in a new art style, bringing your favorite characters to life while exploring classic locations from the show, now available to preorder in-store.
12/01/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022