The Colbert Report

Sign Off - I Have a Dreamsicle

Season 2 • 01/16/2006

Race issues give Stephen brain freeze.

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03:29

The Word - Double-Stick Tape
The Colbert ReportS2

With the Miss America Competition reincorporating the word "Pageant" into its title, Stephen urges the rest of the world to have a little more zazz.
01/12/2006
00:08

Fract - Frnap: Monarchy
The Colbert ReportS2

Some governments are so not evolved, it's like they have a monarchy.
01/12/2006
02:04

Michael Adams' Apology
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen gets Michael Adams to apologize for not giving him credit for "truthiness."
01/12/2006
05:16

Kenneth Miller
The Colbert ReportS2

Kenneth Miller talks about evolution, what's so clever about God, the flu and what he likes to call the "Steve Martin Theory of Evolution."
01/12/2006
04:10

Martin Luther King Jr. Day
The Colbert ReportS2

Martin Luther King Jr. Day is the perfect opportunity for Stephen to fire back at the privacy Gestapo.
01/16/2006
00:38

Intro - 1/16/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen will tell you how the government knows about that thing you did to that thing. You should be ashamed, and so should that thing.
01/16/2006
02:21

The Word - Cerrado!
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen has an elaborate idea for keeping America's borders closed, hinged on the cheap labor of illegal immigrants.
01/16/2006
03:09

Movies That Are Destroying America - Transamerica
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen expresses his disappointment in the sequel to "National Velvet."
01/16/2006
07:17

George Stephanopoulos
The Colbert ReportS2

George Stephanopoulos relates politics to wrestling at Stephen's insistence.
01/16/2006
00:10

Fract - Captain North Korea
The Colbert ReportS2

A near-mint "Captain America" is way more valuable than a near-mint "Captain North Korea."
01/16/2006
02:22

Sign Off - I Have a Dreamsicle
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen compares race relations to his Dreamsicle ice cream pop.
01/16/2006
01:14

The Golden Globes
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen's assistant had to give him the details on Reese Witherspoon, Steve Carrell and Harrison Ford at the Golden Globes.
01/17/2006
03:08

The Word - Old School
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen takes a look at the old school God and shows us how the new one is tougher and clearer about everything.
01/17/2006
03:25

Age-Defying Pancakes
The Colbert ReportS2

Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Pancakes make Stephen feel good and think clear.
01/17/2006
01:51

Wilford Brimley Calls - Oatmeal
The Colbert ReportS2

Wilford Brimley calls up Stephen to complain about a raccoon in his house, Stephen always making up words and missing maple.
01/17/2006
06:18

Andrew Sullivan
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen talks to Andrew Sullivan about blogging and the repercussions of some of his blog posts.
01/17/2006
00:34

Intro - 1/17/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen talks to Time Magazine blogger Andrew Sullivan, covers Canada's race for prime minister and asks the real Eminem marriage to please stand up, please stand up.
01/17/2006
03:42

Tip/Wag - Eminem
The Colbert ReportS2

Prime Minister Paul Martin brings negative campaigning to Canada, Stephen calls Oregon the Canada of California, and Eminem patches things up with his wife.
01/17/2006
03:51

The De-Edumacation of the American Brainscape
The Colbert ReportS2

It's inappropriate for Stephen, as the educator/host, to have a relationship with an audience member/student.
01/18/2006
03:49

The Word - Smarterer
The Colbert ReportS2

You don't need a lot of knowledge if you put a lot of anger behind those few things you do know.
01/18/2006
06:21

Frank McCourt
The Colbert ReportS2

Training German Shepherds in Germany prepared Frank McCourt to teach high school.
01/18/2006
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