The Colbert Report
Intro - 1/16/06
Season 2 • 01/16/2006
Fraulein Colbert speaks the sound of truth.
The Word - Double-Stick TapeThe Colbert ReportS2
With the Miss America Competition reincorporating the word "Pageant" into its title, Stephen urges the rest of the world to have a little more zazz.
Fract - Frnap: MonarchyThe Colbert ReportS2
Some governments are so not evolved, it's like they have a monarchy.
Michael Adams' ApologyThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen gets Michael Adams to apologize for not giving him credit for "truthiness."
Kenneth MillerThe Colbert ReportS2
Kenneth Miller talks about evolution, what's so clever about God, the flu and what he likes to call the "Steve Martin Theory of Evolution."
Martin Luther King Jr. DayThe Colbert ReportS2
Martin Luther King Jr. Day is the perfect opportunity for Stephen to fire back at the privacy Gestapo.
The Word - Cerrado!The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen has an elaborate idea for keeping America's borders closed, hinged on the cheap labor of illegal immigrants.
Movies That Are Destroying America - TransamericaThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen expresses his disappointment in the sequel to "National Velvet."
George StephanopoulosThe Colbert ReportS2
George Stephanopoulos relates politics to wrestling at Stephen's insistence.
Fract - Captain North KoreaThe Colbert ReportS2
A near-mint "Captain America" is way more valuable than a near-mint "Captain North Korea."
Sign Off - I Have a DreamsicleThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen compares race relations to his Dreamsicle ice cream pop.
Intro - 1/16/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen will tell you how the government knows about that thing you did to that thing. You should be ashamed, and so should that thing.
The Golden GlobesThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen's assistant had to give him the details on Reese Witherspoon, Steve Carrell and Harrison Ford at the Golden Globes.
The Word - Old SchoolThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen takes a look at the old school God and shows us how the new one is tougher and clearer about everything.
Age-Defying PancakesThe Colbert ReportS2
Pat Robertson's Age-Defying Pancakes make Stephen feel good and think clear.
Wilford Brimley Calls - OatmealThe Colbert ReportS2
Wilford Brimley calls up Stephen to complain about a raccoon in his house, Stephen always making up words and missing maple.
Andrew SullivanThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen talks to Andrew Sullivan about blogging and the repercussions of some of his blog posts.
Intro - 1/17/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen talks to Time Magazine blogger Andrew Sullivan, covers Canada's race for prime minister and asks the real Eminem marriage to please stand up, please stand up.
Tip/Wag - EminemThe Colbert ReportS2
Prime Minister Paul Martin brings negative campaigning to Canada, Stephen calls Oregon the Canada of California, and Eminem patches things up with his wife.
The De-Edumacation of the American BrainscapeThe Colbert ReportS2
It's inappropriate for Stephen, as the educator/host, to have a relationship with an audience member/student.
The Word - SmartererThe Colbert ReportS2
You don't need a lot of knowledge if you put a lot of anger behind those few things you do know.
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