The Colbert Report
The "Duke's" Things
Season 1 • 11/29/2005
Stephen takes one last look at everything Randy "Duke" Cunningham must give up.
The Colbert ReportS1 Viewer Phone Calls
Stephen Colbert answers viewers' questions about the troops in Iraq, the Better Know a District map and the best way to clean the American flag.
The Colbert ReportS1 Cyber Monday
The nation is on its honor not to steal Stephen Colbert's identity.
The Colbert ReportS1 Sign Off - Check Your Local Listings
From what Stephen Colbert understands of quantum mechanics, tonight's show may not have happened.
The Colbert ReportS1 Brian Greene
By saying that science has more validity than a feeling, Brian Greene is implying that Stephen Colbert descended from a monkey.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - Never
We need to send more troops into Iraq in order to get the job done, so that we can pull the troops out, which we will never do.
The Colbert ReportS1 Better Know a District - California's 50th - Randy "Duke" Cunningham
Stephen blames California's 50th district for Randy "Duke" Cunningham having to resign over bribery charges.
The Colbert ReportS1 Richard Preston
Stephen wants Richard Preston to scare the pants off of him.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - Confidence
We have enough confidence to let our government operate without having any confidence in it.
The Colbert ReportS1 Was It Really That Bad? - Black Death
The Black Death didn't just make more dead people, it also made less competition for those few live people.
The Colbert ReportS1 Intro - 11/29/05
On tap: the failed Canadian government, the bubonic plague and Richard Preston -- with any luck, he'll bring an Ebola monkey.
The Colbert ReportS1 The "Duke's" Things
Stephen looks at everything Randy "Duke" Cunningham must now say goodbye to.
The Colbert ReportS1 Katrina vanden Heuvel
Katrina vanden Heuvel is a proud liberal who is considered mainstream on her stances in ending the war in Iraq and on national health care.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay
Pope Benedict decrees that men who have not had homosexual encounters for three years have only "transitory" homosexual tendencies and still qualify to be priests.
The Colbert ReportS1 Fract - Nobody Messes with House
The actor who plays "House, M.D." is British, but he plays an American.
The Colbert ReportS1 Intro - 11/30/05
Stephen discusses Bush's plan for victory in Iraq, learns about America's 10 sexiest union organizers and talks to Congressperson Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick.
The Colbert ReportS1 Around the World in 11.6 Seconds - Media
Stephen reports the international news in 11.6 seconds.
The Colbert ReportS1 The Word - Spectacle
The threat of lethal injection is the number one reason Stephen hasn't murdered anyone yet.
The Colbert ReportS1 Intro - 12/1/05
In tonight's episode, Stephen weighs the merits of your new face transplant.
The Colbert ReportS1 Richard Clarke
Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
The Colbert ReportS1 Giant Gold Washer
The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
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