The Colbert Report
Season 1 • 12/01/2005
The former counterterrorism czar reveals when the GWAT will end.
Katrina vanden HeuvelThe Colbert ReportS1
Katrina vanden Heuvel is a proud liberal who is considered mainstream on her stances in ending the war in Iraq and on national health care.
The Word - Gay Gay Gay Gay GayThe Colbert ReportS1
Pope Benedict decrees that men who have not had homosexual encounters for three years have only "transitory" homosexual tendencies and still qualify to be priests.
Fract - Nobody Messes with HouseThe Colbert ReportS1
The actor who plays "House, M.D." is British, but he plays an American.
Intro - 11/30/05The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen discusses Bush's plan for victory in Iraq, learns about America's 10 sexiest union organizers and talks to Congressperson Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick.
Around the World in 11.6 Seconds - MediaThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen reports the international news in 11.6 seconds.
The Word - SpectacleThe Colbert ReportS1
The threat of lethal injection is the number one reason Stephen hasn't murdered anyone yet.
Intro - 12/1/05The Colbert ReportS1
In tonight's episode, Stephen weighs the merits of your new face transplant.
Giant Gold WasherThe Colbert ReportS1
The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
Face TransplantThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks.
Tip/Wag - SeattleThe Colbert ReportS1
Something crashes in Seattle, and this time it's not Windows 98.
Richard ClarkeThe Colbert ReportS1
Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
Kennedy Center HonorsThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen doesn't understand why Ted Kennedy gets to decide who the best artists are in this country.
This Week in History - December 4th-10thThe Colbert ReportS1
Prohibition ended when Utah ratified the 21st Amendment -- no surprise considering the booze-drenched land of debauchery Utah has become.
Colbert Nation Citizen AwardThe Colbert ReportS1
Lock your doors and windows, America. There's an escaped criminal on the loose.
Maureen DowdThe Colbert ReportS1
Maureen Dowd proves that when you send a woman to do a man's job, they wind up abolishing men.
ApologyThe Colbert ReportS1
Bobby breaks away from the pack in the horserace of shame.
The Word - XMasThe Colbert ReportS1
Wishing a non-believer "Merry Christmas" is no different than inviting a foreign exchange student to a Fourth of July barbeque
Intro - 12/5/05The Colbert ReportS1
Tonight, Stephen covers the Kennedy Center awards and asks Maureen Dowd if he's necessary.
Anderson CooperThe Colbert ReportS1
Stephen is getting tired of all the comparisons between himself and Anderson Cooper.
The Word - BacksiesThe Colbert ReportS1
The free ride is over now that corporations are adopting the beloved childhood ritual of backsies.
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