The Colbert Report

Viewer Phone Calls

Season 1 • 11/28/2005

The world would be a dreary place if there were no secret reason for keeping troops in Iraq.

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05:38

The Colbert ReportS1
Tim Robbins

Stephen asks Tim Robbins what it's like to work with Clint Eastwood and why he hates our troops.
11/17/2005
02:55

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - McConaughey!

Recent McConaughey news indicates that our troubled nation might be back on track!
11/17/2005
01:22

The Colbert ReportS1
No Good Deed

Representative Barney Frank throws his free face time on The Colbert Report back in Stephen's face.
11/17/2005
04:34

The Colbert ReportS1
ThreatDown - Children

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's daughter Annie has a severe case of the absolutely adorables.
11/17/2005
00:18

The Colbert ReportS1
Thanksgiving Vacation

Stephen dispenses some Thanksgiving cooking advice.
11/17/2005
04:34

The Colbert ReportS1
Stephen Settles the Debate - Science vs. Faith

Due to a miraculous coin toss, faith wins the debate against science.
11/28/2005
00:39

The Colbert ReportS1
Intro - 11/28/05

Stephen questions U.S. presence in Iraq, interviews quantum physicist Brian Greene, settles the debate between science and religion and reports on holiday shopping.
11/28/2005
03:42

The Colbert ReportS1
Cyber Monday

The nation is on its honor not to steal Stephen Colbert's identity.
11/28/2005
00:13

The Colbert ReportS1
Sign Off - Check Your Local Listings

From what Stephen Colbert understands of quantum mechanics, tonight's show may not have happened.
11/28/2005
05:18

The Colbert ReportS1
Brian Greene

By saying that science has more validity than a feeling, Brian Greene is implying that Stephen Colbert descended from a monkey.
11/28/2005
03:23

The Colbert ReportS1
Viewer Phone Calls

Stephen Colbert answers viewers' questions about the troops in Iraq, the Better Know a District map and the best way to clean the American flag.
11/28/2005
02:17

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - Never

We need to send more troops into Iraq in order to get the job done, so that we can pull the troops out, which we will never do.
11/28/2005
04:59

The Colbert ReportS1
Better Know a District - California's 50th - Randy "Duke" Cunningham

Stephen blames California's 50th district for Randy "Duke" Cunningham having to resign over bribery charges.
11/29/2005
05:17

The Colbert ReportS1
Richard Preston

Stephen wants Richard Preston to scare the pants off of him.
11/29/2005
03:51

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - Confidence

We have enough confidence to let our government operate without having any confidence in it.
11/29/2005
04:54

The Colbert ReportS1
Was It Really That Bad? - Black Death

The Black Death didn't just make more dead people, it also made less competition for those few live people.
11/29/2005
00:29

The Colbert ReportS1
Intro - 11/29/05

On tap: the failed Canadian government, the bubonic plague and Richard Preston -- with any luck, he'll bring an Ebola monkey.
11/29/2005
00:48

The Colbert ReportS1
The "Duke's" Things

Stephen looks at everything Randy "Duke" Cunningham must now say goodbye to.
11/29/2005
05:30

The Colbert ReportS1
Katrina vanden Heuvel

Katrina vanden Heuvel is a proud liberal who is considered mainstream on her stances in ending the war in Iraq and on national health care.
11/30/2005
02:50

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay

Pope Benedict decrees that men who have not had homosexual encounters for three years have only "transitory" homosexual tendencies and still qualify to be priests.
11/30/2005
00:08

The Colbert ReportS1
Fract - Nobody Messes with House

The actor who plays "House, M.D." is British, but he plays an American.
11/30/2005
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