The Colbert Report

Fract - Nobody Messes with House

Season 1 • 11/30/2005

You can push around a British doctor.

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04:59

The Colbert ReportS1
Better Know a District - California's 50th - Randy "Duke" Cunningham

Stephen blames California's 50th district for Randy "Duke" Cunningham having to resign over bribery charges.
11/29/2005
05:17

The Colbert ReportS1
Richard Preston

Stephen wants Richard Preston to scare the pants off of him.
11/29/2005
03:51

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - Confidence

We have enough confidence to let our government operate without having any confidence in it.
11/29/2005
04:54

The Colbert ReportS1
Was It Really That Bad? - Black Death

The Black Death didn't just make more dead people, it also made less competition for those few live people.
11/29/2005
00:29

The Colbert ReportS1
Intro - 11/29/05

On tap: the failed Canadian government, the bubonic plague and Richard Preston -- with any luck, he'll bring an Ebola monkey.
11/29/2005
00:48

The Colbert ReportS1
The "Duke's" Things

Stephen looks at everything Randy "Duke" Cunningham must now say goodbye to.
11/29/2005
05:30

The Colbert ReportS1
Katrina vanden Heuvel

Katrina vanden Heuvel is a proud liberal who is considered mainstream on her stances in ending the war in Iraq and on national health care.
11/30/2005
02:50

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay

Pope Benedict decrees that men who have not had homosexual encounters for three years have only "transitory" homosexual tendencies and still qualify to be priests.
11/30/2005
00:38

The Colbert ReportS1
Intro - 11/30/05

Stephen discusses Bush's plan for victory in Iraq, learns about America's 10 sexiest union organizers and talks to Congressperson Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick.
11/30/2005
01:09

The Colbert ReportS1
Around the World in 11.6 Seconds - Media

Stephen reports the international news in 11.6 seconds.
11/30/2005
00:08

The Colbert ReportS1
Fract - Nobody Messes with House

The actor who plays "House, M.D." is British, but he plays an American.
11/30/2005
04:50

The Colbert ReportS1
The Word - Spectacle

The threat of lethal injection is the number one reason Stephen hasn't murdered anyone yet.
12/01/2005
00:30

The Colbert ReportS1
Intro - 12/1/05

In tonight's episode, Stephen weighs the merits of your new face transplant.
12/01/2005
04:49

The Colbert ReportS1
Richard Clarke

Former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke discusses his new book of fiction, "The Scorpion's Gate."
12/01/2005
02:15

The Colbert ReportS1
Giant Gold Washer

The Winter Olympics are Stephen's favorite time of the every four years.
12/01/2005
01:31

The Colbert ReportS1
Face Transplant

Stephen honors the heroes who toil to plump our sunken cheeks, hoist our drooping buttocks and thread serrated plastic sutures through the fatty layers beneath our necks.
12/01/2005
04:04

The Colbert ReportS1
Tip/Wag - Seattle

Something crashes in Seattle, and this time it's not Windows 98.
12/01/2005
04:03

The Colbert ReportS1
Kennedy Center Honors

Stephen doesn't understand why Ted Kennedy gets to decide who the best artists are in this country.
12/05/2005
02:37

The Colbert ReportS1
This Week in History - December 4th-10th

Prohibition ended when Utah ratified the 21st Amendment -- no surprise considering the booze-drenched land of debauchery Utah has become.
12/05/2005
01:51

The Colbert ReportS1
Colbert Nation Citizen Award

Lock your doors and windows, America. There's an escaped criminal on the loose.
12/05/2005
05:21

The Colbert ReportS1
Maureen Dowd

Maureen Dowd proves that when you send a woman to do a man's job, they wind up abolishing men.
12/05/2005
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