The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 11/30/2009
Cevin Soling warns that school security has taken precedence over education.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/18/09
Sarah Palin has a 400-page book, "2012" takes the world by storm, and Norah Jones talks about her famous father, Indiana.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sign Off - Thanks, Elvis Costello
Elvis Costello will come back and do a song with Stephen when he gets his voice back.
The Colbert ReportS5 Tip/Wag - U.S. Speedskating Team, NY Lottery & William Phillips
The U.S. Speedskating team wins at the World Cup, the New York Lottery goes upscale, and a fifth grader refuses to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen Shakes His Moneymaker
Stephen liquidates his investments and injects them into his ass after the Senate introduces a tax on plastic surgery.
The Colbert ReportS5 Celebrating the AK-47 - John Pike
John Pike talks about the popularity of the AK-47 as the Russian designer celebrates his 90th birthday.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 11/30/09
Copenhagen hosts an environmental summit, Stephen talks to an advocate for nuclear disarmament, and Cevin Soling says schools have turned into prisons.
The Colbert ReportS5 Amateur Hour at the White House
Joe Biden crashes President Obama's state dinner to get on "The Real Housewives of Delaware."
The Colbert ReportS5 Something Is Melting in Denmark - Dan Esty
Dan Esty believes President Obama will bring a change in spirit to the United Nations Climate Change Conference.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a Lobby - Ploughshares Fund
Joseph Cirincione plays "Sanction, Bomb, Marry?" with Iran, Pakistan and North Korea.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cevin Soling
Cevin Soling says public schools have been transformed into prisons because of an overdependence on security.
The Colbert ReportS5 Gold, Frankincense and Mars - Guy Consolmagno
Brother Guy Consolmagno explains why the Vatican accepts the possibility of alien life.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sherman Alexie
Sherman Alexie criticizes digital technology for taking away the local celebration and appreciation of books.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a Made-Up District - Connecticut's 42nd
Connecticut's 42nd District is located in the middle of the River Styx and is represented by Brad Pitt's character from "Fight Club."
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/1/09
The Catholic Church searches for life on other planets, and Sherman Alexie discusses his book, "War Dances."
The Colbert ReportS5 U.S. Army Chain of Command
By sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan, President Obama must be unfamiliar with the chain of command.
The Colbert ReportS5 Deployment Figures
President Obama's speech to send 30,000 troops to Afghanistan was missing passion and a certain word.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - R.J. Reynolds, Genzyme & Bionic Bottom
R.J. Reynolds hopes to make money off of quit-smoking aids, Genzyme pills contain trash, and a man regulates his bowel movements via remote control.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 12/2/09
Barack Obama sends 30,000 troops into Afghanistan, and Craig Watkins overturns old convictions with DNA evidence.
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