The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 03/31/2009
After reading the entire Bible, David Plotz thinks God is like a great high school teacher.
The Colbert ReportS5 Me Time - Emily Yoffe on Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What's wrong with thinking that you are better than everyone else if it's the truth?
The Colbert ReportS5 30 Minute Applause
Late viewers, just pretend that you applauded for Stephen for 30 minutes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/30/09
Is narcissism hurting America? More importantly, how does Stephen's hair look?
The Colbert ReportS5 Me Time - American Narcissism
We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
The Colbert ReportS5 Violence in Mexico
Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 3/31/09
Glenn Beck embarks on a new crusade, and David Plotz discusses every word of the Bible.
The Colbert ReportS5 The 10.31 Project
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's Epic Dog Quest
The Obamas' epic search for a dog inspired Stephen to write his own children's book.
The Colbert ReportS5 Sudoku Answers
Spoiler alert: Stephen has the answers to today's sudoku.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a Lobby - Newspaper Association of America
Stephen urges John Sturm to include a porn section in online newspapers to earn extra cash.
The Colbert ReportS5 David Plotz
David Plotz learned that the Bible is a lot messier than what they teach in Sunday school.
The Colbert ReportS5 Dambisa Moyo
Dambisa Moyo wants to focus on long-term growth for Africa instead of temporary solutions.
The Colbert ReportS5 Hide-and-Seek
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Fine Line
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/1/09
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
The Colbert ReportS5 Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
The Colbert ReportS5 French Worker Protests
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/2/09
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
The Colbert ReportS5 Merriam-Webster's Word's Worth
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
The Colbert ReportS5 Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
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