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The Colbert Report
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About
The Colbert Report
David Plotz
Season 5 • 03/31/2009
After reading the entire Bible, David Plotz thinks God is like a great high school teacher.
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Watching
03:51
The Colbert Report
S5
Me Time - Emily Yoffe on Narcissistic Personality Disorder
What's wrong with thinking that you are better than everyone else if it's the truth?
03/30/2009
00:11
The Colbert Report
S5
30 Minute Applause
Late viewers, just pretend that you applauded for Stephen for 30 minutes.
03/30/2009
00:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 3/30/09
Is narcissism hurting America? More importantly, how does Stephen's hair look?
03/30/2009
03:08
The Colbert Report
S5
Me Time - American Narcissism
We need ambition, self-confidence and extreme good looks to rebuild America.
03/30/2009
02:39
The Colbert Report
S5
Violence in Mexico
Cross border drug traffic and violence could lead to the explosion of Lou Dobbs' head.
03/30/2009
00:31
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 3/31/09
Glenn Beck embarks on a new crusade, and David Plotz discusses every word of the Bible.
03/31/2009
07:53
The Colbert Report
S5
The 10.31 Project
Stephen wants you to ring doorbells and demand that your neighbors make a tangible commitment to America in the form of a sugary treat.
03/31/2009
01:28
The Colbert Report
S5
Obama's Epic Dog Quest
The Obamas' epic search for a dog inspired Stephen to write his own children's book.
03/31/2009
00:14
The Colbert Report
S5
Sudoku Answers
Spoiler alert: Stephen has the answers to today's sudoku.
03/31/2009
05:03
The Colbert Report
S5
Better Know a Lobby - Newspaper Association of America
Stephen urges John Sturm to include a porn section in online newspapers to earn extra cash.
03/31/2009
04:48
The Colbert Report
S5
David Plotz
David Plotz learned that the Bible is a lot messier than what they teach in Sunday school.
03/31/2009
04:47
The Colbert Report
S5
Dambisa Moyo
Dambisa Moyo wants to focus on long-term growth for Africa instead of temporary solutions.
04/01/2009
00:16
The Colbert Report
S5
Hide-and-Seek
Stephen ends the hide-and-seek game he forgot to finish when he was seven.
04/01/2009
05:14
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Fine Line
The Line index: just as meaningless as the Dow Jones, but it always goes up.
04/01/2009
00:32
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/1/09
The take-home message of this economy: there is nothing to take and you have no home.
04/01/2009
05:45
The Colbert Report
S5
Cheating Death - Sperm Sale & Colonoscopies
A sperm bank offers a clearance sale, Canadian researchers invent the PolyPill, and veterans get dirty colonoscopies.
04/01/2009
02:41
The Colbert Report
S5
French Worker Protests
Once again, Americans are going to have to show the French how it is done, just like with the mustache.
04/01/2009
00:34
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/2/09
President Obama meets with the president of Russia. The big question: what was Michelle wearing?
04/02/2009
03:19
The Colbert Report
S5
Merriam-Webster's Word's Worth
Stephen won't let Merriam-Webster engayify other straight words like "drag," "bear" and "Manwich."
04/02/2009
06:26
The Colbert Report
S5
Cold War Update - Russia, Cuba & Space
Russia wants a new currency, Congress tries to lift the Cuba embargo, and Russian astronauts can't use American toilets in space.
04/02/2009
02:10
The Colbert Report
S5
Cheney's Secret Assassination Squad
It's hard to believe Dick Cheney had the time to command a secret lawless assassination squad with all the secret lawless torture.
04/02/2009
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