The Colbert Report
Guantanamo Bay Office Closure
Season 9 • 01/29/2013
Congress restricts detainees, and Obama closes Daniel Fried's office charged with closing Gitmo.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/28/13
Obama fights climate change, tensions rise in North Korea, and environmentalist Michael Shellenberger discusses nuclear power.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Word - The New Abnormal
Australia adds new colors to the weather map for temperatures above 125 degrees, and conservatives hit the fifth stage of right-wing climate change grief: acceptance.
The Colbert ReportS9 Rapiscan Scanners
With the removal of TSA full-body scanners, America will never complete its national database of radical Islamic naughty parts.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Axis of Evil of the Week - North Korea
North Korea calls America its archenemy, which is kind of a big commitment since America just got out of a 50-year archenemy thing with the Soviets.
The Colbert ReportS9 Gun Control & State Sovereignty
State officials fight Obama's gun grab-o-rama by trying to outlaw the enforcement of federal gun control measures.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - "Tenth of December"
Stephen glances over George Saunders' book, "Tenth of December: Stories."
The Colbert ReportS9 George Saunders
The MacArthur Grant Fellow uses analogies to explain why he prefers short stories over novels.
The Colbert ReportS9 Iran's Space Monkey & America's Ape Moratorium
Iran acquires weapons of macaque destruction, while the National Institute of Health retires 110 government-owned chimpanzees.
The Colbert ReportS9 Gun Control & State Sovereignty - Cliff Sloan
The former associate White House counsel describes past nullification efforts during the Civil War and Brown v. Board.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/29/13
States wonder if they have to follow federal law, the war on terror persists, and George Saunders shares his critically-acclaimed book.
The Colbert ReportS9 Guantanamo Bay Office Closure
The Obama administration reassigns the guy who failed to close Gitmo to a more cushy post: solving the Middle East.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Word - It Gets Worse
Pro-DOMA lawyer Paul Clement thinks the struggle for gay rights has just been too successful, so it therefore must end in failure.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 1/30/13
Gays and lesbians advocate for same-sex marriage, the Ku Klux Klan makes big changes, and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates joins Stephen.
The Colbert ReportS9 Bill Gates
Microsoft's founder talks about polio eradication, information technology and the decline in childhood deaths worldwide.
The Colbert ReportS9 Non-Racist KKK
The new Ku Klux Klan spreads its positive message the way any open-minded group would: door to door in the dead of night.
The Colbert ReportS9 Coming Out Benefits & Gay Rights
Psychosomatic Medicine prints a study on gay men's stress levels, and conservatives have been saying gays should have equal rights since the beginning of this sentence.
The Colbert ReportS9 Matthew Guerrieri
Music critic Matthew Guerrieri examines Symphony No. 5, German Romanticism and Beethoven's dating life.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sport Report - Gatorade Chemicals & Chicken Wing Shortage
Gatorade without flame retardant is like hotdogs without pig sphincter, and chicken thieves run a-fowl as wing prices fly high.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Welcome Baby Sanchez!
Stephen congratulates his wardrobe mistress who just gave birth to the newest citizen of Colbert Nation.
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