The Colbert Report

Sign Off - "Tenth of December"

Season 9 • 01/29/2013

Stephen reads George Saunders' book.

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Watching

00:36

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/28/13

Obama fights climate change, tensions rise in North Korea, and environmentalist Michael Shellenberger discusses nuclear power.
01/28/2013
06:17

The Colbert ReportS9
The Word - The New Abnormal

Australia adds new colors to the weather map for temperatures above 125 degrees, and conservatives hit the fifth stage of right-wing climate change grief: acceptance.
01/28/2013
03:20

The Colbert ReportS9
Rapiscan Scanners

With the removal of TSA full-body scanners, America will never complete its national database of radical Islamic naughty parts.
01/28/2013
03:47

The Colbert ReportS9
The Axis of Evil of the Week - North Korea

North Korea calls America its archenemy, which is kind of a big commitment since America just got out of a 50-year archenemy thing with the Soviets.
01/28/2013
02:44

The Colbert ReportS9
Gun Control & State Sovereignty

State officials fight Obama's gun grab-o-rama by trying to outlaw the enforcement of federal gun control measures.
01/29/2013
05:58

The Colbert ReportS9
George Saunders

The MacArthur Grant Fellow uses analogies to explain why he prefers short stories over novels.
01/29/2013
03:21

The Colbert ReportS9
Guantanamo Bay Office Closure

The Obama administration reassigns the guy who failed to close Gitmo to a more cushy post: solving the Middle East.
01/29/2013
03:50

The Colbert ReportS9
Iran's Space Monkey & America's Ape Moratorium

Iran acquires weapons of macaque destruction, while the National Institute of Health retires 110 government-owned chimpanzees.
01/29/2013
04:08

The Colbert ReportS9
Gun Control & State Sovereignty - Cliff Sloan

The former associate White House counsel describes past nullification efforts during the Civil War and Brown v. Board.
01/29/2013
00:34

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/29/13

States wonder if they have to follow federal law, the war on terror persists, and George Saunders shares his critically-acclaimed book.
01/29/2013
00:07

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - "Tenth of December"

Stephen glances over George Saunders' book, "Tenth of December: Stories."
01/29/2013
04:59

The Colbert ReportS9
The Word - It Gets Worse

Pro-DOMA lawyer Paul Clement thinks the struggle for gay rights has just been too successful, so it therefore must end in failure.
01/30/2013
00:31

The Colbert ReportS9
Intro - 1/30/13

Gays and lesbians advocate for same-sex marriage, the Ku Klux Klan makes big changes, and billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates joins Stephen.
01/30/2013
07:03

The Colbert ReportS9
Bill Gates

Microsoft's founder talks about polio eradication, information technology and the decline in childhood deaths worldwide.
01/30/2013
04:48

The Colbert ReportS9
Non-Racist KKK

The new Ku Klux Klan spreads its positive message the way any open-minded group would: door to door in the dead of night.
01/30/2013
03:20

The Colbert ReportS9
Coming Out Benefits & Gay Rights

Psychosomatic Medicine prints a study on gay men's stress levels, and conservatives have been saying gays should have equal rights since the beginning of this sentence.
01/30/2013
00:06

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Goodnight

Stephen says goodnight.
01/30/2013
05:57

The Colbert ReportS9
Matthew Guerrieri

Music critic Matthew Guerrieri examines Symphony No. 5, German Romanticism and Beethoven's dating life.
01/31/2013
04:27

The Colbert ReportS9
Sport Report - Gatorade Chemicals & Chicken Wing Shortage

Gatorade without flame retardant is like hotdogs without pig sphincter, and chicken thieves run a-fowl as wing prices fly high.
01/31/2013
01:10

The Colbert ReportS9
Sign Off - Welcome Baby Sanchez!

Stephen congratulates his wardrobe mistress who just gave birth to the newest citizen of Colbert Nation.
01/31/2013
03:22

The Colbert ReportS9
Craziest F#?King Thing I've Ever Heard - Crows Using Tools

A bird demonstrates higher-level thinking while Big Bird, after 40 years, still needs help counting to 10.
01/31/2013
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