The Colbert Report
Intro - 10/8/12
Season 9 • 10/08/2012
A new minority faces persecution, and former astronaut Mark Kelly discusses his children's book.
Mitt's "Etch A Sketch" BehaviorThe Colbert ReportS9
Mitt Romney shakes up his long-term policy promises, but the fact-check mafia warns that it could backfire.
Mitt's Socialist Rhetoric & Body LanguageThe Colbert ReportS9
Though Mitt Romney contradicted everything he said on the campaign trail, Fox News applauds his confident facial expressions during the debate.
George ChurchThe Colbert ReportS9
Molecular geneticist George Church shares his book, "Regenesis: How Synthetic Biology Will Reinvent Nature and Ourselves."
Chris Matthews's Impotent RageThe Colbert ReportS9
MSNBC craps its pants over Barack Obama's debate performance, and Mr. Potato Head Chris Matthews is particularly steamed.
Sign Off - Rabbit FoodThe Colbert ReportS9
Stephen feeds Mitt Romney's updated tax plan.
Obama's Debate Apathy & PBSThe Colbert ReportS9
President Obama acts like he doesn't want to debate, and the Alpha Mitt plans to can Jim Lehrer and Big Bird.
Sign Off - Welcome Baby Brumm!The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen's writer sends a story pitch during his first day with his new daughter.
Koch Brothers & Orc Senate CandidateThe Colbert ReportS9
Charles and David Koch pledge $1 million to Arkansas House Republicans, and Maine state Senate candidate Colleen Lachowicz gets slammed for her gaming hobby.
Unemployment Below Eight PercentThe Colbert ReportS9
The Bureau of Labor Statistics cooks the books for Barack Obama while his government-mooching allies get off the couch and go to work.
Mark KellyThe Colbert ReportS9
Former astronaut Mark Kelly recalls the Endeavour's final mission, Stephen's shuttle landing and the story behind "Mousetronaut."
Intro - 10/8/12The Colbert ReportS9
A new minority forms, campaign attacks target personal hobbies, and Mark Kelly plugs his children's book, "Mousetronaut."
Intro - 10/9/12The Colbert ReportS9
Russia sets its sights on the North Pole, Mitt Romney sends a warning to Iran, and music legend Morrissey stands up for animals.
Mitt Romney's Vague, Long-Winded Foreign ThreatsThe Colbert ReportS9
Mitt Romney proves he knows what Americans want in international relations: a few extra wars in Syria, Iran, Afghanistan and Libya.
MorrisseyThe Colbert ReportS9
The former lead singer of "The Smiths" talks about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, radical vegetarianism and his song "Meat Is Murder."
President Obama's Obsessiveness PleaThe Colbert ReportS9
In the face of Mitt Romney starting to run for president, President Obama reveals his desperation during a California fundraiser.
Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches - China & RussiaThe Colbert ReportS9
Greenland officials see through China's sudden interest in their country, and Russia makes its holy mark on the North Pole.
ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & BearsThe Colbert ReportS9
Bears choose FaceTime over eating people's faces and discover that Americans are most vulnerable at the mall.
Naomi WolfThe Colbert ReportS9
Naomi Wolf explores low sexual desire among women, vaginal anatomy and America's outdated cultural script on sex.
Sign Off - "Vagina: A New Biography"The Colbert ReportS9
Stephen reads up on female anatomy.
The Word - MeducationThe Colbert ReportS9
Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades.
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