The Colbert Report
Season 9 • 10/09/2012
Indie rock legend Morrissey rails against Queen Elizabeth II, the royal wedding and carnivorism.
The Colbert ReportS9 Obama's Debate Apathy & PBS
President Obama acts like he doesn't want to debate, and the Alpha Mitt plans to can Jim Lehrer and Big Bird.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - Welcome Baby Brumm!
Stephen's writer sends a story pitch during his first day with his new daughter.
The Colbert ReportS9 Koch Brothers & Orc Senate Candidate
Charles and David Koch pledge $1 million to Arkansas House Republicans, and Maine state Senate candidate Colleen Lachowicz gets slammed for her gaming hobby.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/8/12
A new minority forms, campaign attacks target personal hobbies, and Mark Kelly plugs his children's book, "Mousetronaut."
The Colbert ReportS9 Unemployment Below Eight Percent
The Bureau of Labor Statistics cooks the books for Barack Obama while his government-mooching allies get off the couch and go to work.
The Colbert ReportS9 Mark Kelly
Former astronaut Mark Kelly recalls the Endeavour's final mission, Stephen's shuttle landing and the story behind "Mousetronaut."
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/9/12
Russia sets its sights on the North Pole, Mitt Romney sends a warning to Iran, and music legend Morrissey stands up for animals.
The Colbert ReportS9 Mitt Romney's Vague, Long-Winded Foreign Threats
Mitt Romney proves he knows what Americans want in international relations: a few extra wars in Syria, Iran, Afghanistan and Libya.
The Colbert ReportS9 President Obama's Obsessiveness Plea
In the face of Mitt Romney starting to run for president, President Obama reveals his desperation during a California fundraiser.
The Colbert ReportS9 Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches - China & Russia
Greenland officials see through China's sudden interest in their country, and Russia makes its holy mark on the North Pole.
The Colbert ReportS9 Morrissey
The former lead singer of "The Smiths" talks about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, radical vegetarianism and his song "Meat Is Murder."
The Colbert ReportS9 ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & Bears
Bears choose FaceTime over eating people's faces and discover that Americans are most vulnerable at the mall.
The Colbert ReportS9 Naomi Wolf
Naomi Wolf explores low sexual desire among women, vaginal anatomy and America's outdated cultural script on sex.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - "Vagina: A New Biography"
Stephen reads up on female anatomy.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Word - Meducation
Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades.
The Colbert ReportS9 Beverage-Based Polling & Pizza Toppings Town Hall
The 7-Eleven coffee cup poll has a margin of error of "Mormons can't drink coffee," and Pizza Hut promises one town hall questioner free pies for life.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/10/12
America's education system finds answers, highways encounter trouble, and Naomi Wolf talks about her book, "Vagina: A New Biography."
The Colbert ReportS9 Chrystia Freeland
In her book "Plutocrats," Chrystia Freeland argues that today's global economy allows the super rich to disregard the American middle class.
The Colbert ReportS9 This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness
Rumors of President Obama's secret gay Martian past emanate from a top-secret government space teleportation program.
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