The Colbert Report
ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & Bears
Season 9 • 10/10/2012
A bear steals an iPad, a distillery makes biofuel from whiskey, and two other bears visit the mall.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/9/12
Russia sets its sights on the North Pole, Mitt Romney sends a warning to Iran, and music legend Morrissey stands up for animals.
The Colbert ReportS9 Mitt Romney's Vague, Long-Winded Foreign Threats
Mitt Romney proves he knows what Americans want in international relations: a few extra wars in Syria, Iran, Afghanistan and Libya.
The Colbert ReportS9 Morrissey
The former lead singer of "The Smiths" talks about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, radical vegetarianism and his song "Meat Is Murder."
The Colbert ReportS9 President Obama's Obsessiveness Plea
In the face of Mitt Romney starting to run for president, President Obama reveals his desperation during a California fundraiser.
The Colbert ReportS9 Smokin' Pole - The Quest for Arctic Riches - China & Russia
Greenland officials see through China's sudden interest in their country, and Russia makes its holy mark on the North Pole.
The Colbert ReportS9 Naomi Wolf
Naomi Wolf explores low sexual desire among women, vaginal anatomy and America's outdated cultural script on sex.
The Colbert ReportS9 Sign Off - "Vagina: A New Biography"
Stephen reads up on female anatomy.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Word - Meducation
Since America can't afford all the teachers it would take to give children personal attention, doctors recommend psychostimulants to improve kids' grades.
The Colbert ReportS9 Beverage-Based Polling & Pizza Toppings Town Hall
The 7-Eleven coffee cup poll has a margin of error of "Mormons can't drink coffee," and Pizza Hut promises one town hall questioner free pies for life.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/10/12
America's education system finds answers, highways encounter trouble, and Naomi Wolf talks about her book, "Vagina: A New Biography."
The Colbert ReportS9 ThreatDown - Apple Fan-Bears, Drunk Cars & Bears
Bears choose FaceTime over eating people's faces and discover that Americans are most vulnerable at the mall.
The Colbert ReportS9 Chrystia Freeland
In her book "Plutocrats," Chrystia Freeland argues that today's global economy allows the super rich to disregard the American middle class.
The Colbert ReportS9 This Changes Everything - Obama's Martian Gayness
Rumors of President Obama's secret gay Martian past emanate from a top-secret government space teleportation program.
The Colbert ReportS9 The Vice-Presidential Debate
Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden and Paul Ryan debate in Kentucky, and critics question Barack Obama's relationship to moderator Martha Raddatz's ex-husband.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/11/12
Obama faces an "October surprise," scientists discover a new species of turtle, and Chrystia Freeland examines the super-rich in her book, "Plutocrats."
The Colbert ReportS9 Formidable Opponent - Mitt Romney
Stephen argues the centrist Mitt Romney seen at the debate is the real Mitt Romney, but Stephen thinks Stephen got sucked in.
The Colbert ReportS9 Tip/Wag - Norway & American Family Association
Europe grants itself the Nobel Peace Prize, and liberal social engineering erases heterosexual boundaries at the lunch table.
The Colbert ReportS9 Intro - 10/15/12
The Nobel Committees name the Nobel Prize winners, a criminal runs loose in Florida, and Evan Thomas explores Dwight D. Eisenhower's influence on modern nuclear policy.
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