The Colbert Report

Stephen Claims Lou Dobbs' Audience

Season 5 • 11/12/2009

Stephen claims Lou Dobbs' audience and opinions after he quits CNN.

More

Watching

00:17

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Stephen's Fight With Christopher Caldwell

The show went well except for the violent fistfight Stephen had with Christopher Caldwell that had to be edited out.
11/11/2009
06:22

The Colbert ReportS5
Christopher Caldwell

Christopher Caldwell says unassimilated Muslim immigrants have disrupted European relations between ethnic groups and the sexes.
11/11/2009
05:23

The Colbert ReportS5
Grover the Hill

America's most insidious socialist brainwashing program, "Sesame Street," celebrates its 40th anniversary and introduces Pox News.
11/11/2009
02:39

The Colbert ReportS5
Goldman Sachs Does God's Work

Despite collecting the highest salary on Wall Street, Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein never forgets he's a blue-collar guy doing God's work.
11/11/2009
04:13

The Colbert ReportS5
Tip/Wag - San Francisco Chronicle & George Clinton

The San Francisco Chronicle prints on glossy paper, and the 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rules in favor of George Clinton.
11/11/2009
01:26

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Stephen Shaves Woody's Head

Stephen shaves Woody Harrelson's head while they both sing "The Star-Spangled Banner."
11/12/2009
03:46

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - The Money Shot

If we want to save the U.S. dollar, we should peg it to America's most precious metal of all: lead.
11/12/2009
01:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Miracle Whip Buys Ad Space

Stephen is going to buy more delicious mayonnaise with the money from Miracle Whip's advertising.
11/12/2009
04:07

The Colbert ReportS5
Sport Report - Cricket Scandal & Letter-Writing Campaign

A cricket coach encourages his players to have sex before matches, and Stephen starts his Canadian "Don't Be an Ice-Hole" letter-writing campaign.
11/12/2009
06:01

The Colbert ReportS5
Woody Harrelson

Woody Harrelson shows his support for the troops by allowing Stephen to shave his head.
11/12/2009
02:24

The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen Claims Lou Dobbs' Audience

In punditry, like in "Highlander," there can be only one Lou Dobbs, so Stephen claims his audience after Dobbs quits CNN.
11/12/2009
03:32

The Colbert ReportS5
Alpha Dog of the Week - Joe Perry

Joe Perry has always been the face of Aerosmith -- you just might not know it because his hair is often in the way.
11/16/2009
00:31

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 11/16/09

Aerosmith breaks up to pursue separate nursing homes, and Paul Goldberger discusses Stephen's favorite architect, Mike Brady.
11/16/2009
05:49

The Colbert ReportS5
The Word - Skeletons in the Closet

How is the governor of Rhode Island supposed to rest in peace knowing that a couple of plots over two dudes are being gay dead?
11/16/2009
00:19

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Good Morning, Burma

Stephen says good morning to anybody watching from Burma, and congratulations on owning a TV.
11/16/2009
03:07

The Colbert ReportS5
Obama Bows to Japanese Emperor

President Obama brings great shame upon America by taking a deep bow to the emperor of Japan.
11/16/2009
06:30

The Colbert ReportS5
Paul Goldberger

Paul Goldberger says buildings bring out our emotions and are part of our most profound memories.
11/16/2009
07:09

The Colbert ReportS5
Kid Gloves - Marc Kielburger

Marc Kielburger attempts to break the cycle of poverty by taking kids out of child labor and putting them in school.
11/17/2009
00:02

The Colbert ReportS5
Sign Off - Goodnight

That's it for The Report, everybody.
11/17/2009
06:21

The Colbert ReportS5
Better Know a District - California's 12th - Jackie Speier

Representative Jackie Speier defends gay rights and shoots a viral skateboarding video for YouTube with Stephen.
11/17/2009
00:33

The Colbert ReportS5
Intro - 11/17/09

Congress cracks down on child labor, Stephen profiles California's 12th district, and Malcolm Gladwell talks about his new book.
11/17/2009
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
00:15

The Daily ShowS28
Guest Host Roy Wood Jr. Takes Over The Daily Show

Comedian and seasoned Daily Show veteran Roy Wood Jr. leads the field and steps behind the desk as guest host, starting Monday at 11/10c.
03/30/2023
Trailer
00:30

Awkwafina is Nora from QueensS3
Awkwafina is Nora from Queens Really Goes for It on Season 3

Nora is really, really, really trying to be an adult this time, and the results speak for themselves when Season 3 of Awkwafina is Nora from Queens premieres April 26 at 10:30/9:30c.
03/30/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
02:29

A Familiar Face Returns in Teen Wolf: The Movie

Derek Hale finds himself fighting for his life when a skilled hunter tracks down him and his son Eli in Teen Wolf: The Movie, premiering Thursday, January 26, 2023, on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

Cursed Friends
This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022