The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 03/11/2009
Howard Fineman says arguments are how Americans govern themselves.
Jay KeaslingThe Colbert ReportS5
Jay Keasling says the same yeast that we use to produce beer and bread will soon be fueling our cars and planes.
Space Module: Colbert - William GerstenmaierThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen asks William Gerstenmaier to commit to naming the space module "Colbert," if he wins the online vote.
Conservative Rap Battle - Droppin' Science on Michael SteeleThe Colbert ReportS5
Michael Steele may not have seen "8 Mile," but a key part of every rap battle is showing up to the rap battle.
Coffee-Induced HallucinationsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen should have never bought M. Night Shyamalan coffee.
Intro - 3/10/09The Colbert ReportS5
Republican Party Chairman Michael Steele is in trouble -- his punishment: being chairman of the Republican Party.
The Word - Rand IllusionThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen wants to live on an island with the CEOs, hedge fund managers, House Republicans and TV pundits.
Stephen's EncoreThe Colbert ReportS5
If you clap for 23.5 hours straight, Stephen will come back for an encore.
Intro - 3/11/09The Colbert ReportS5
Republicans turn to a classic novel for inspiration -- 'It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.'
Cheating Death - Legal, Sweat & Pre-Natal HealthThe Colbert ReportS5
For those who want custom babies, but can't afford designer prices, Prescott introduces the Build-A-Baby Workshop.
Earmarks Abuse Ends TomorrowThe Colbert ReportS5
Obama announces the end of earmarks abuse, and then signs an appropriations bill containing nearly 9,000 earmarks.
Howard FinemanThe Colbert ReportS5
Howard Fineman believes Americans were born and bred to argue.
Intro - 3/12/09The Colbert ReportS5
Guess where Stephen's face is showing up now -- besides your grilled cheese sandwiches.
Mahmoud's Non-Consensual Endorsement DealThe Colbert ReportS5
If Iran is going to use Stephen to sell products he hasn't endorsed over there, he'll use Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to sell products over here.
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Barreleye FishThe Colbert ReportS5
National Geographic releases footage of a fish that has a see-through head and twitching green sacks of goo for eyes.
It Could Be Worse - Simon JohnsonThe Colbert ReportS5
Simon Johnson explains why America's economy resembles an unstable, emerging market.
Peter SingerThe Colbert ReportS5
Peter Singer urges Stephen to give money to poor people rather than enjoying it himself.
Stephen's Angry Mob Will Crush AIGThe Colbert ReportS5
The government can't stop AIG, but Stephen's angry mob can.
Better Know a Governor - Mark Sanford UpdateThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen asks South Carolina's Mark Sanford what barbeque sauce he wants for his last meal.
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