The Colbert Report
The Word - Two Birds With One Drone
Season 8 • 05/31/2012
Barack Obama reviews baseball cards with pictures and stats on suspected terrorists.
Charlize TheronThe Colbert ReportS8
Actress Charlize Theron discusses fairy tales, beauty, and Stephen's prizewinning switch from handsome man to hot woman.
Intro - 5/30/12The Colbert ReportS8
The U.N. makes a shocking announcement, Alan Alda gives scientists an easy task, and Facebook stock continues to fall.
Mexico's Drug & Potato Chip WarsThe Colbert ReportS8
Mexico's Knights Templar cartel sets fire to PepsiCo warehouses, making enemies of the most powerful American names in chip trafficking.
Alan AldaThe Colbert ReportS8
Actor Alan Alda discusses good business models, the World Science Festival and his international Flame Challenge.
Sign Off - Stephen's MatchboxThe Colbert ReportS8
Stephen strikes a match and inspects the flame.
Buy Best-Selling "I Am a Pole (And So Can You!)"The Colbert ReportS8
Stephen's clearly nonfiction book about a talking, soul-searching pole hits two best-selling lists, while Bill O'Reilly's book lags behind.
Barack Obama's Righteous Drone StrikesThe Colbert ReportS8
The government takes out Al Qaeda's "number two," and Barack Obama finds an alternative to shutting down Guantanamo Bay.
Jack HittThe Colbert ReportS8
Author Jack Hitt explores America's self-made history, job creators and the cyclical nature of amateurism.
Michael Bloomberg's Super-Sized Soda SchemeThe Colbert ReportS8
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg plans to ban super-sized sodas, even though America hasn't achieved type-3 diabetes yet.
Sign Off - Welcome Baby Gwinn!The Colbert ReportS8
Stephen suspects that one of his writers has broken the strict, company abstinence pledge.
The Word - Two Birds With One DroneThe Colbert ReportS8
The Obama administration reasons that anyone in a strike zone is likely Al Qaeda, so no one has to feel guilty about civilian casualties.
The Word - Sink or SwimThe Colbert ReportS8
Scientists predict an economy-destroying, 39-inch sea level rise, but North Carolina drafts a law to make it eight inches.
Better Know a District - Represent-O-Map 6000 & Georgia's 5thThe Colbert ReportS8
Nancy Pelosi and the Represent-O-Map 6000 boost representative bookings, and Stephen profiles Georgia's 5th congressional district.
Juvenile Speeches from Congress & President Sparkle-TalkThe Colbert ReportS8
America's leaders speak the high school language of "angry glares at the dinner table," while Barack Obama talks like an eighth-grader.
John LewisThe Colbert ReportS8
Congressman John Lewis recalls the 1965 Selma-to-Montgomery March, America's segregation and his mentor Martin Luther King, Jr.
CDC Zombie Apocalypse StatementThe Colbert ReportS8
Zombie-like attacks suggest a growing urban trend, but America's top emergency doctors declare that zombies do not exist.
Tip/Wag - Japanese Diet Goggles, U.S. Sperm Exports & Taxidermied ToysThe Colbert ReportS8
Japanese diet glasses reduce Oreo intake, America is the gold standard of sperm, and Dutch artist Bart Jansen converts his dead cat into a model helicopter.
Intro - 6/5/12The Colbert ReportS8
The U.S. reveals its latest export, traditional marriage faces assault, and Second Lady Dr. Jill Biden talks about her children's book.
Self-Marriage ProblemsThe Colbert ReportS8
A North Dakota woman marries herself, and Stephen envisions all the societal pressure once self-marriage becomes the norm.
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