The Colbert Report
Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's Portrait
Season 7 • 03/07/2011
Stephen wants average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait.
Mark MoffettThe Colbert ReportS7
Mark Moffett says plants need an animal intermediary to carry the pollen to the next plant and do the deed.
Fox News Suspends ContributorsThe Colbert ReportS7
Fox News sets a bad precedent by suspending two contributors who might be running for president.
Ice Cream Fight with Jimmy FallonThe Colbert ReportS7
The only way to settle the fight between Jimmy Fallon and Stephen is with an ice cream eating contest.
Ice Cream Hallucination With Jimmy FallonThe Colbert ReportS7
Jimmy Fallon and Stephen enter into an altered state of butter pe-consciousness so they can learn to be friends.
Sign Off - Late Night SnackThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen's got to say that Jimmy Fallon's Late Night Snack flavor is pretty good.
On Notice - Mike HuckabeeThe Colbert ReportS7
Mike Huckabee is On Notice until he says something that will get him unwanted attention on The Colbert Report.
Joshua FoerThe Colbert ReportS7
Joshua Foer explains that having a European coach was like bringing a gun to a knife fight at the U.S. Memory Championship.
America's Next GOP ModelThe Colbert ReportS7
Every American will sort of remember where they were when Newt Gingrich almost said he might be running for president.
Stephen Wants an iPad 2The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen would be the appiest man in the world if Apple gave him an iPad 2 and a panini press.
Intro - 3/7/11The Colbert ReportS7
Stephen reveals the first Republican to enter the presidential race, looks at Obama's past, and asks Joshua Foer where he put his car keys.
Art Stephen Up Challenge - Bid on Stephen's PortraitThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen invites average Americans with giant sacks of cash to bid on his portrait and unveils the latest no-prize-winning entry.
Light Bulb Ban - Dale BrykThe Colbert ReportS7
Dale Bryk says the new and improved incandescent light bulbs use less energy and will put a dent in the deficit.
Sign Off - Welcome Zoe Simone SanchezThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen is sure Zoe Simone Sanchez is wearing a limited edition Vera Wang onesie.
Dan SinkerThe Colbert ReportS7
Dan Sinker questions the sanity of anyone who actually thought he was Rahm Emanuel on Twitter.
Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's DayThe Colbert ReportS7
Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day.
Charlie Sheen & Fake Rahm Emanuel on TwitterThe Colbert ReportS7
Charlie Sheen gets a new gig as Twitter overlord, and the fake Rahm Emanuel is unmasked.
Light Bulb BanThe Colbert ReportS7
The socket huggers claim that pigtail bulbs last up to 10 years, but they haven't considered how the efficient lights will affect the joke-telling industry.
Bench Press - Anthony WeinerThe Colbert ReportS7
Anthony Weiner wants to ensure that the Supreme Court upholds a standard of ethics by asking Clarence Thomas to recuse himself from health care cases.
Intro - 3/9/11The Colbert ReportS7
Clarence Thomas may have a conflict of interest, and Stephen hopes David Brooks' book, "The Social Animal," is about a hamster on Facebook.
David BrooksThe Colbert ReportS7
David Brooks describes the way unconscious emotions affect people's decisions and values.
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