The Colbert Report
The Word - Whatever
Season 2 • 01/11/2006
Unless a judge is an activist, he just sits there, staring off into space, like a koala bear.
Carl BernsteinThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen speaks with Carl Bernstein about what Bush and Nixon have in common and points out that a strong president is better than an honest president.
The In-Box - Taking a BulletThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen attributes his ability to take a bullet from Conan O'Brien to the inspirational way Ronald Reagan got shot and shook it off.
The Word - Sleeper CellThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen feels that it's our duty to stop the sexagaterrorist baby boomers from destroying our way of life.
Balls for Kidz - Bear HuntingThe Colbert ReportS2
In response to a letter questioning his bear-hatred, Stephen has some expert hunters tell a group of kids how and why to hunt bears.
Intro - 1/11/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen looks at Samuel Alito's confirmation hearings, sits down with "20/20"'s John Stossel, and compares Freddy Krueger and the Mars rover.
Fract - Colbert TriviaThe Colbert ReportS2
John Tyler had fifteen children but Stephen has fifteen million children.
Colbert Report Consumer AlertThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen is shocked by Chest Magazine's claim that cough syrup doesn't really work.
Alito HatersThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen proves that, contrary to media criticism, Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito is an exciting and hilarious man.
Sign Off - Future MoneyThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen adds a piggy bank to his bookshelf and puts in a dollar for the children's future. He tells them to smash it open in 2050 and trade the dollars for the new currency.
ThreatDown - Fathers and SonsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen sounds the warning on dads who let their kids hang out in war zones, breeding robots, bears that aren't really hibernating and the Associated Press.
The Word - WhateverThe Colbert ReportS2
What Samuel Alito said in the past shouldn't have anything to do with the present or future.
John StosselThe Colbert ReportS2
John Stossel tells Stephen what's wrong with the education system and Stephen tells John what a freedom-tarian is.
Better Know a District - New Jersey's 9th - Steven RothmanThe Colbert ReportS2
Congressman Steve Rothman talks about New Jersey, the war in Iraq and what date movie he'd see with Stephen.
Intro - 1/12/06The Colbert ReportS2
Stephen will ask evolution expert Kenneth Miller about the Lord, Congressman Steve Rothman defends New Jersey and the Miss America Pageant gets back to its roots.
The OscarsThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen congratulates Jon Stewart for being asked to host the Oscars, but suggests the Academy reconsider and go with a CGI version of Bob Hope.
The Word - Double-Stick TapeThe Colbert ReportS2
With the Miss America Competition reincorporating the word "Pageant" into its title, Stephen urges the rest of the world to have a little more zazz.
Fract - Frnap: MonarchyThe Colbert ReportS2
Some governments are so not evolved, it's like they have a monarchy.
Michael Adams' ApologyThe Colbert ReportS2
Stephen gets Michael Adams to apologize for not giving him credit for "truthiness."
Kenneth MillerThe Colbert ReportS2
Kenneth Miller talks about evolution, what's so clever about God, the flu and what he likes to call the "Steve Martin Theory of Evolution."
Martin Luther King Jr. DayThe Colbert ReportS2
Martin Luther King Jr. Day is the perfect opportunity for Stephen to fire back at the privacy Gestapo.
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