The Colbert Report

The Word - Shall

Season 2 E 111 • 09/11/2006

Stephen talks about the difference between using the words "will" and "shall."

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The Word - Bad Boys
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If your guy's talking about killing another woman's husband, he's just not that fanatical about you.
08/24/2006
06:14

Janna Levin
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Stephen stumps Janna Levin -- a theoretical physicist -- by asking her the hardest question in the world.
08/24/2006
01:35

Green Screen Challenge - Socialized Medicine
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In the latest Green Screen Challenge entry, Stephen fights a space monster that clearly represents socialized medicine.
08/24/2006
01:38

Fart Jokes
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Everybody laughs at fart jokes, brilliant people included.
08/24/2006
00:38

Intro - 8/24/06
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A tell-all from Osama bin 'Laden's former mistress, more Green Screen Challenge and novelist Janna Levin in the studio tonight.
08/24/2006
03:47

Manilow's Emmy
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Upon reflection over vacation, Stephen is glad he didn't win an Emmy award since his balloons would pop on its wings.
09/11/2006
03:58

The Path to 9/11
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The fifth anniversary of 9/11 is a time for the nation to reflect, come together and watch TV.
09/11/2006
00:34

Intro - 9/11/06
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In this episode, Stephen discusses George Allen's possible plagiarism of an amendment, the new ABC miniseries based on 9/11 and interviews comedian Martin Short.
09/11/2006
07:57

Martin Short
The Colbert ReportS2 E111

Stephen asks Martin Short what it's like to interview guests in character.
09/11/2006
00:15

Sign Off - Lullaby Clap
The Colbert ReportS2 E111

As not to infringe on any copywritten lullabies, Stephen claps one instead of singing it.
09/11/2006
02:47

The Word - Shall
The Colbert ReportS2 E111

Stephen explains that "will" is a week, Democratic term, while "shall" is a stronger, godlier and more Republican term.
09/11/2006
06:01

Toby Keith
The Colbert ReportS2 E112

American hero Toby Keith talks about his new movie and smoking weed with Willie Nelson.
09/12/2006
00:55

Green Screen Challenge - Entry
The Colbert ReportS2 E112

Stephen talks about a recent entry to the green screen challenge and explains how you can enter, too.
09/12/2006
00:08

Sign Off - Special Episode
The Colbert ReportS2 E112

Tomorrow will be a special Colbert Report -- just like all of them.
09/12/2006
04:21

The Word - Missed Opportunity
The Colbert ReportS2 E112

To keep the American people scared, Stephen suggests taking the 14 captured terrorists on a personal appearance tour: Monsters of Terror '06.
09/12/2006
00:20

Intro - 9/12/06
The Colbert ReportS2 E112

President Bush can't seem to open a door without an explosion and a Jedi Stephen.
09/12/2006
07:36

Better Know a Challenger - New Jersey's 3rd - Richard Sexton
The Colbert ReportS2 E112

Stephen meets with Democratic challenger Richard Sexton and helps him plan for the congratulatory phone call to his opponent when he loses.
09/12/2006
03:31

Formidable Opponent - Iraq Withdrawal
The Colbert ReportS2 E113

We have to wait for the cake of a democratic Middle East to rise. If you pull it out of the oven too soon, the cake will fall.
09/13/2006
01:22

Sign Off - Cigarettes
The Colbert ReportS2 E113

What other industry would give us more of what we crave for free, and keep it a secret?
09/13/2006
06:50

Ken Jennings
The Colbert ReportS2 E113

"Brainiac" author and "Jeopardy" champ Ken Jennings tells Stephen what it's like knowing things no one else cares about.
09/13/2006
04:11

The Word - Caveat Emptor
The Colbert ReportS2 E113

If you're one of the suckers who bought "A Million Little Pieces," don't act like a victim, victimize someone else.
09/13/2006
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