The Colbert Report
Sign Off - Should Have Put a Ring On It
Season 5 • 10/14/2009
If you liked the show, then you should have put a ring on it.
Sylvia EarleThe Colbert ReportS5
Sylvia Earle stresses the importance of doing everything we can to protect the ocean and restore health to the system that takes care of us.
Sign Off - GmailThe Colbert ReportS5
If you're watching on a computer, open up Gmail so Stephen can check some messages.
The Word - Symbol-MindedThe Colbert ReportS5
The cross has nothing to do with Christianity -- it's just the normal symbol of the resting place of the dead. Download The Word NOW!
Intro - 10/13/09The Colbert ReportS5
Stephen tells babies to get a job, and Sylvia Earle prevents him from deep-frying a merman.
The Born Supremacy - David JaverbaumThe Colbert ReportS5
One of the most interesting things David Javerbaum discovered while researching his book is that pregnancy often affects the mother.
Jermaine Maine Tweets Miley Cyrus FactsThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen's pop star alter ego, Jermaine Maine, posts Twitter updates about Miley Cyrus' life.
Yahweh or No Way - Legislation Prayers & Fake Shroud of TurinThe Colbert ReportS5
Special interest groups pray on issues like health care, and an Italian scientist makes a fake Shroud of Turin look like Cher with a mustache.
The RZAThe Colbert ReportS5
The RZA wants everyone to know that the truth shall set you free from all things.
Pat Roberts Warns Against Health Care Box CanyonThe Colbert ReportS5
Pat Roberts is concerned that health care reform is full of spending quicksand, cactus tax hikes and policy briar patches.
The Obesity Epidemic - Amy FarrellThe Colbert ReportS5
Amy Farrell believes the American government is misguided when it focuses on the obesity epidemic.
Sign Off - Should Have Put a Ring On ItThe Colbert ReportS5
If you liked tonight's show, then you should have put a ring on it.
Sign Off - Stephen Unveils a New PortraitThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen unveils his brand new portrait on the four-year anniversary of The Colbert Report's first episode.
Tip/Wag - Coal Lobbyists, George Takei & CrispyconesThe Colbert ReportS5
A coal lobby represents non-existent Americans, George Takei threatens the sanctity of game shows, and Crispycones are too easy to eat.
The Mayo-lution Will Not Be TelevisedThe Colbert ReportS5
Stephen responds to Miracle Whip's advertising campaign with his own extreme ad for mayo.
Jerry MitchellThe Colbert ReportS5
Thanks to Jerry Mitchell's investigations, four people have gone to jail for crimes they committed in the civil rights era.
Intro - 10/15/09The Colbert ReportS5
The Dow hits 10,000, Stephen taps into the youth culture, and Jerry Mitchell investigates unsolved crimes from the civil rights era.
The Money ShotThe Colbert ReportS5
Just in case you didn't get enough of that hot stock exchange session, Stephen has the uncut version on DVD.
Cornel WestThe Colbert ReportS5
Cornel West criticizes Barack Obama out of concern for the poor and working class people.
The Word - Don't Ask Don't TellThe Colbert ReportS5
The petition signers who want to overturn the "everything but marriage" bill should be able to stay in the closet that the gay people have abandoned.
Stephen's Sound Advice - How to Get a JobThe Colbert ReportS5
Once you get a job interview with Stephen's celebrity endorsement, you'll want to grow a mustache.
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