The Colbert Report

Bicycle Theft

Season 2 • 07/31/2006

That good woman on Fox News was trying to teach our youth how to steal bikes!

More

Watching

00:33

Intro - 7/27/06
The Colbert ReportS2

In this episode, John Bolton fighting for his job, a profile of Eleanor Holmes Norton and a visit from Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada.
07/27/2006
05:47

Joe Quesada
The Colbert ReportS2

Marvel Comics editor-in-chief Joe Quesada discusses a new series of comics entitled Civil War, which combines superheroes with today's government.
07/27/2006
07:17

Better Know a District - District of Columbia - Eleanor Holmes Norton
The Colbert ReportS2

Since the District of Columbia is not a state, it is not in the United States.
07/27/2006
03:02

Floyd Landis' Balls
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen defends Floyd Landis' high level of testosterone with the argument that Americans have huge balls.
07/27/2006
03:24

The Word - Secretary-General Bolton
The Colbert ReportS2

The U.N. should appoint John Bolton to its Secretary-General position and bring the world together by tearing it apart.
07/27/2006
03:21

Tip/Wag - Lance Bass
The Colbert ReportS2

A tip of the hat to Lance Bass: it takes a brave man to admit he's gay and an even braver man to volunteer to be shot into space for being gay.
07/31/2006
04:10

The Word - Wikiality
The Colbert ReportS2

On Wikipedia, we can create a reality that we can all agree on -- the reality we just agreed on.
07/31/2006
02:27

Book Club
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen and his book club start the meeting with a book burning.
07/31/2006
07:37

Ned Lamont
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen asks Senate hopeful Ned Lamont if he thinks the president's going to kiss him.
07/31/2006
00:31

Intro - 7/31/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen profiles Wikipedia and the response to Lance Bass coming out of the closet, and thanks Ned Lamont for destroying the Democratic Party.
07/31/2006
01:44

Bicycle Theft
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen loves local news: there's no getting bogged down in the issues, it's half murder, half news you can use -- no fat.
07/31/2006
00:07

Sign Off - Energy
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reminds viewers to save energy.
08/01/2006
02:41

The Word - Uncool
The Colbert ReportS2

Rather than trying to come up with a smoking vaccine, scientists should concentrate on real problems, like lung cancer.
08/01/2006
05:28

Peter Beinart
The Colbert ReportS2

Peter Beinart stops by to talk about his book, "The Good Fight," and why he changed his mind about the war.
08/01/2006
03:08

Cuba Libre
The Colbert ReportS2

Making connections from Cuba all the way to Kevin Bacon, Stephen reveals his plan for making World War III truly global.
08/01/2006
04:21

Balls for Kidz - Carnivals
The Colbert ReportS2

A brutally honest tutorial on the world of carnivals, covering such topics as rides, food and death.
08/01/2006
00:29

Intro - 8/1/06
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen reports on smoking vaccines and carnivals. Author Peter Beinart will explain why only liberals can win the war on terror.
08/01/2006
03:10

Courting Joe Lieberman
The Colbert ReportS2

Stephen pulls out all the stops to get Joe Lieberman to appear on his show, but wonders if Lieberman has enough Joementum to do it.
08/01/2006
02:48

On Notice - How the On Notice Board Is Made
The Colbert ReportS2

You can't just throw something on notice at the drop of a hat. Stephen shows a Prescott Educational Film on how something gets to be On Notice.
08/02/2006
06:57

Linda Hirshman
The Colbert ReportS2

No matter what Linda Hirshman says, men can't stay home and raise children -- daytime TV is all geared towards women.
08/02/2006
00:12

Sign Off - Cocoa Puffs
The Colbert ReportS2

Hey General Mills, where the hell is Stephen's case of Cocoa Puffs?
08/02/2006
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022
Trailer
01:22

Out of Office Explores Remote Work Absurdity
Out of Office

A young woman experiences the bizarre extremes of working from home in the film Out of Office, starring Milana Vayntrub, Ken Jeong, Jay Pharoah, Cheri Oteri, Jason Alexander and more.
09/19/2022
Trailer
00:35

A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
South ParkS25

Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022
Trailer
00:29

Diwali Gets Wild in Hot Mess Holiday
Hot Mess Holiday

Melanie Chandra and Surina Jindal embark on a zany weekend adventure during Diwali in the Comedy Central original movie Hot Mess Holiday, now streaming.
12/20/2021