The Colbert Report
Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
Season 5 • 04/07/2009
Stephen will put on surgical gloves before he touches Queen Noor.
The Colbert ReportS5 Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw
Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
The Colbert ReportS5 Un-American News - Rest of the World
Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
The Colbert ReportS5 Make Lemonade
If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
The Colbert ReportS5 Body Loss
Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
The Colbert ReportS5 Rich Lowry
Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Morally Bankrupt
TV has so little societal value that Bill Gates is willing to pay to provide the most cursory positive messages.
The Colbert ReportS5 Better Know a District - New York's 25th - Dan Maffei
Congressman Dan Maffei's "evil twin" tells Stephen why he loves cocaine and the company of prostitutes.
The Colbert ReportS5 Queen Noor
Queen Noor will only knight Stephen after he signs the Global Zero declaration.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/7/09
Are TV networks desperate for revenue? Find out more on an all-new episode of "How I Met Your Pepsi."
The Colbert ReportS5 Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
The Colbert ReportS5 Birkat Hachama - Stephen Frees His Jews
Birkat Hachama marks the time for Stephen to free his Jews.
The Colbert ReportS5 Electronic Edition
Far too many of you still get the show delivered on paper.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 4/8/09
An update on Stephen's trip to the Persian Gulf, and Phil Bronstein discusses the death of newspapers.
The Colbert ReportS5 Phil Bronstein
Stephen asks Phil Bronstein if the death of newspapers and journalistic oversight will begin a golden age of corruption.
The Colbert ReportS5 Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Bahrain
The military asked Stephen to adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy for his trip, which is hard because he's Dubai-curious.
The Colbert ReportS5 Alpha Dog of the Week - Ted Stevens
Ted Stevens seeks justice for others, as long as those others are him.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Enemy Within - Hedgehogs
Hedgehogs were illegal in Kansas until one obsessed 10-year-old played the cute card.
The Colbert ReportS5 Stephen's Severed Head
Stephen earns 2,634 weeks of workers' comp for severing his head.
The Colbert ReportS5 Bart Ehrman
Stephen discusses Bart Ehrman's theory that the Bible contradicts itself.
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