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The Colbert Report
Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
Season 5 • 04/07/2009
Stephen will put on surgical gloves before he touches Queen Noor.
More
Watching
04:42
The Colbert Report
S5
Obama's European Trip - Tom Brokaw
Tom Brokaw believes Barack Obama appeared very presidential at the G20 Summit.
04/06/2009
02:28
The Colbert Report
S5
Un-American News - Rest of the World
Stephen loves Barack Obama, at least until he returns to the United States.
04/06/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Make Lemonade
If life gives you lemons, water, sugar and ice, make lemonade.
04/06/2009
03:14
The Colbert Report
S5
Body Loss
Getting paid for missing body parts is too tempting for Americans.
04/06/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Rich Lowry
Rich Lowry wants Republican principles to stay the same, but the application to change.
04/06/2009
00:15
The Colbert Report
S5
Hiccup-Free
The Colbert Report is no longer hiccup-free.
04/07/2009
04:55
The Colbert Report
S5
The Word - Morally Bankrupt
TV has so little societal value that Bill Gates is willing to pay to provide the most cursory positive messages.
04/07/2009
07:02
The Colbert Report
S5
Better Know a District - New York's 25th - Dan Maffei
Congressman Dan Maffei's "evil twin" tells Stephen why he loves cocaine and the company of prostitutes.
04/07/2009
06:21
The Colbert Report
S5
Queen Noor
Queen Noor will only knight Stephen after he signs the Global Zero declaration.
04/07/2009
00:35
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/7/09
Are TV networks desperate for revenue? Find out more on an all-new episode of "How I Met Your Pepsi."
04/07/2009
01:20
The Colbert Report
S5
Queen Noor's Royal Treatment
To make sure Stephen doesn't violate any royalty protocol, he's going to wear surgical gloves.
04/07/2009
03:14
The Colbert Report
S5
Birkat Hachama - Stephen Frees His Jews
Birkat Hachama marks the time for Stephen to free his Jews.
04/08/2009
00:14
The Colbert Report
S5
Electronic Edition
Far too many of you still get the show delivered on paper.
04/08/2009
00:33
The Colbert Report
S5
Intro - 4/8/09
An update on Stephen's trip to the Persian Gulf, and Phil Bronstein discusses the death of newspapers.
04/08/2009
06:51
The Colbert Report
S5
Phil Bronstein
Stephen asks Phil Bronstein if the death of newspapers and journalistic oversight will begin a golden age of corruption.
04/08/2009
05:43
The Colbert Report
S5
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Bahrain
The military asked Stephen to adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy for his trip, which is hard because he's Dubai-curious.
04/08/2009
03:13
The Colbert Report
S5
Alpha Dog of the Week - Ted Stevens
Ted Stevens seeks justice for others, as long as those others are him.
04/08/2009
04:42
The Colbert Report
S5
The Enemy Within - Hedgehogs
Hedgehogs were illegal in Kansas until one obsessed 10-year-old played the cute card.
04/09/2009
00:24
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen's Severed Head
Stephen earns 2,634 weeks of workers' comp for severing his head.
04/09/2009
06:30
The Colbert Report
S5
Bart Ehrman
Stephen discusses Bart Ehrman's theory that the Bible contradicts itself.
04/09/2009
02:19
The Colbert Report
S5
Workers' Comp Temptation
The New York Times' worker's compensation chart for severed limbs continues to tempt Stephen.
04/09/2009
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