The Colbert Report
Season 5 • 02/10/2009
Robert Ballard says most of Earth is underwater and full of resources.
The Colbert ReportS5 Economic Stimulus Debate
Democrats take a page from the Republicans' fear book when selling the economic stimulus bill.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 2/9/09
A married lesbian couple files for divorce and moves into separate Subaru Outbacks, and someone won a Grammy.
The Colbert ReportS5 The New Word Czar
Michael Steele navigates the subtleties of our language as he talks about the stimulus bill.
The Colbert ReportS5 Al Gore Steals Stephen's Grammy
Since Stephen's voice isn't worth a Grammy, he's going to stop talking forever.
The Colbert ReportS5 ThreatDown - Gay Divorce
A lesbian couple files for divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable sameness, and the Japanese poop gold.
The Colbert ReportS5 Shout Out - Honey, Counterterrorism & an Old Guard Flag
Stephen gets a fresh stash of pharmaceutical-grade hive jive and learns of a Counterterrorism Calendar.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Visa Black Card
Visa: it's everywhere you want to be, unless that place is a Jimmy Buffett concert.
The Colbert ReportS5 The Word - Loyal Opposition
The best way for Republicans to win back the trust of the people is to copy the strategy of our enemies.
The Colbert ReportS5 You Look Like Stephen
You look like Stephen, if he were on a curvy, glassy thing.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 2/10/09
Tough times for the Republican Party -- this sounds like a job for tax cuts.
The Colbert ReportS5 Robert Ballard
Robert Ballard explains why ocean exploration is a good investment.
The Colbert ReportS5 Truth From the Gut
Forget looking into each other's eyes for the truth, we need to look into each other's guts.
The Colbert ReportS5 Good Night -- Except for the West Coast
That's it for The Report, unless you are watching on the West Coast.
The Colbert ReportS5 Intro - 2/11/09
Wshington, D.C. wants a vote, and Glenn Beck brings innovation to Fox News.
The Colbert ReportS5 Westminster Dog Show Snub - Formula 40-Woof
Pick up some Formula 40-Woof today if you want your dog to be a winner.
The Colbert ReportS5 DC Voting Rights Act - Eleanor Holmes Norton
Eleanor Holmes Norton will give Stephen a key to DC when residents get their voting rights.
The Colbert ReportS5 Steven Pinker
Stephen wonders if putting your genome on the Internet is like posting the social security number that God gave you.
The Colbert ReportS5 The DaColbert Code - Oscar Predictions
Instead of watching the movies, Stephen uses the DaColbert Code to pick the Oscar winners.
The Colbert ReportS5 Adam Gopnik
Adam Gopnik claims that faith and fear no longer rule our lives because of Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin.
The Colbert ReportS5 Goodbye, Conan O'Brien
Conan O'Brien has to get his invisible strings from Stephen if he ever wants to do his little dance again.
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