The Colbert Report

The Most Poetic F@#king Thing I've Ever Heard

Season 3 • 02/01/2007

A moth that drinks the tears of a magpie is the most poetic thing Stephen has ever heard.

More

Watching

05:56

Jed Babbin
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Jed Babbin what can be done to shut the American people up.
01/31/2007
00:32

Intro - 1/31/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen looks at gay sheep, and throws down with Gregory Meeks.
01/31/2007
05:05

Better Know a District - New York's 6th - Gregory Meeks
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen asks Gregory Meeks if he expects much resistance to the mandatory gay marriage act.
01/31/2007
04:10

On Notice - Jane Fonda Fantasies
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen can't put Jane Fonda on notice until he puts his fantasies of Jane Fonda on notice.
01/31/2007
06:18

Chuck Schumer
The Colbert ReportS3

Chuck Schumer talks to Stephen about his new book, his views on Iraq and Hillary Clinton. Then, Stephen accuses him of promising a bad economy.
02/01/2007
02:53

The Word - We Shall Overcome
The Colbert ReportS3

The Hispanic Congressional Congress is a perfect example of being colorblind -- they have eleven non-Hispanic members to their five Hispanic members.
02/01/2007
01:47

Cartoon Terrorism
The Colbert ReportS3

A publicity stunt for Aqua Teen Hunger Force caused a terrorism scare in Boston. What's more, it also ruined several marketing campaigns that Stephen had planned.
02/01/2007
00:32

Intro - 2/1/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Tom Tancredo has plans to get rid of the congressional black caucus, Stephen's getting sick from the Oscars and Chuck Schumer has advice for the Democrats.
02/01/2007
03:22

Ending Racism
The Colbert ReportS3

In response to a remark by Frank Hargrove, Stephen apologizes for racism and bids farewell to it with a video montage.
02/01/2007
03:45

Movies That Are Destroying America - Oscars Edition
The Colbert ReportS3

The Oscars really made Stephen sick this year with movies like "Little Miss Sunshine," "Pan's Labyrinth" and "An Inconvenient Truth."
02/01/2007
01:36

The Most Poetic F@#king Thing I've Ever Heard
The Colbert ReportS3

Rainbow covered bridges paved with babies' dreams has nothing on moths that drink the tears of sleeping magpies. That's the most poetic f**king thing Stephen has ever heard.
02/01/2007
01:53

Peyton Manseed
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is thrilled about the Bears being slaughtered in the Super Bowl and approves of Prince's kosher halftime performance.
02/05/2007
00:36

Intro - 2/5/07
The Colbert ReportS3

Despite global warming, Stephen's freezing his ass off while that bastard Tesla gains another victory, and Wendy Kopp gets schooled by America.
02/05/2007
05:43

Wendy Kopp
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen's speaks with Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp and suggests that eliminating schools entirely is the best way to achieve equal educational opportunity.
02/05/2007
04:04

The Word - Second Opinion
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen is all for the second opinion. If a doctor says he's allergic to shrimp, he finds a doctor that says he's not. He feels the same about scientists and global warming.
02/05/2007
04:32

ThreatDown - Giant Mexican Babies
The Colbert ReportS3

Banning light bulbs, giant Mexicans babies crossing the border, the Miss America pageant and the misrepresentation of bear hugs are all major threats.
02/05/2007
03:08

Save Stephen Jr.
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen discovers that Stephen Jr. has made it back into the U.S. but fears that Congressman Brian Baird might kill him.
02/05/2007
00:29

Intro - 2/6/07
The Colbert ReportS3

The Pentagon may be doing business with Iran, and Congressman Zack Space can be heard screaming. Plus, Stephen finds out why Charles LeDuff doesn't do Internet dating.
02/06/2007
06:00

Charles LeDuff
The Colbert ReportS3

Journalist Charlie LeDuff talks about "US Guys" and tells Stephen that the manliest men in America are in Oklahoma's gay rodeo.
02/06/2007
06:04

Better Know a District - Ohio's 18th - Zack Space
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen takes a look at Ohio's 18th and speaks with Congressman Zack Space, who has some pretty radical views -- for a Democrat.
02/06/2007
03:30

The Word - Making a Killing
The Colbert ReportS3

Stephen feels that it's not wrong for the U.S. to sell F-14 fighter jet parts to Iran. They're the only country that uses the jet, so we could make a killing.
02/06/2007
You may also like5 Videos
Trailer
01:49

"South Park: Snow Day!" Trailer
South Park

Join your favorite South Park characters as they fight for neighborhood dominance during a blizzard in "South Park: Snow Day!," available now.
03/26/2024
Trailer
00:28

Make the Most of a Day Off with "South Park: Snow Day!"
South ParkS26

Join Cartman and the neighborhood kids as they battle Stan, who has his own ideas about the rules of their fantasy game, in the "South Park: Snow Day!" video game, now available to preorder.
12/21/2023
Trailer
01:00

"Star Trek: very Short Treks" Has Lightyears of Laughs
Star Trek: very Short TreksS1

Relive the classic vibe of "Star Trek: The Animated Series," and join Riker, Spock and more Starfleet faces on the bite-sized journeys of "Star Trek: very Short Treks," now streaming.
11/22/2023
Trailer
01:00

Fires and Full Moons Breed a New Terror on Wolf Pack

A California wildfire awakens a werewolf, but a group of curious teens -- once bitten -- will not shy away from the threat of decimation on Wolf Pack, streaming January 26 on Paramount+.
10/12/2022
Trailer
01:41

This Game of M.A.S.H. Is a Real Monster in Cursed Friends
Cursed Friends

Four pals must break an evil spell and change their fates when a classic kid's game to predict the future comes back to haunt them in the Comedy Central original movie Cursed Friends.
10/10/2022