The Colbert Report
The Word - Second Opinion
Season 3 • 02/05/2007
If scientists say that global warming isn't real, it's not.
Cartoon TerrorismThe Colbert ReportS3
A publicity stunt for Aqua Teen Hunger Force caused a terrorism scare in Boston. What's more, it also ruined several marketing campaigns that Stephen had planned.
The Most Poetic F@#king Thing I've Ever HeardThe Colbert ReportS3
Rainbow covered bridges paved with babies' dreams has nothing on moths that drink the tears of sleeping magpies. That's the most poetic f**king thing Stephen has ever heard.
Intro - 2/1/07The Colbert ReportS3
Tom Tancredo has plans to get rid of the congressional black caucus, Stephen's getting sick from the Oscars and Chuck Schumer has advice for the Democrats.
Ending RacismThe Colbert ReportS3
In response to a remark by Frank Hargrove, Stephen apologizes for racism and bids farewell to it with a video montage.
Movies That Are Destroying America - Oscars EditionThe Colbert ReportS3
The Oscars really made Stephen sick this year with movies like "Little Miss Sunshine," "Pan's Labyrinth" and "An Inconvenient Truth."
Peyton ManseedThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is thrilled about the Bears being slaughtered in the Super Bowl and approves of Prince's kosher halftime performance.
Intro - 2/5/07The Colbert ReportS3
Despite global warming, Stephen's freezing his ass off while that bastard Tesla gains another victory, and Wendy Kopp gets schooled by America.
Wendy KoppThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen's speaks with Teach for America founder Wendy Kopp and suggests that eliminating schools entirely is the best way to achieve equal educational opportunity.
ThreatDown - Giant Mexican BabiesThe Colbert ReportS3
Banning light bulbs, giant Mexicans babies crossing the border, the Miss America pageant and the misrepresentation of bear hugs are all major threats.
Save Stephen Jr.The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen discovers that Stephen Jr. has made it back into the U.S. but fears that Congressman Brian Baird might kill him.
The Word - Second OpinionThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen is all for the second opinion. If a doctor says he's allergic to shrimp, he finds a doctor that says he's not. He feels the same about scientists and global warming.
Intro - 2/6/07The Colbert ReportS3
The Pentagon may be doing business with Iran, and Congressman Zack Space can be heard screaming. Plus, Stephen finds out why Charles LeDuff doesn't do Internet dating.
Charles LeDuffThe Colbert ReportS3
Journalist Charlie LeDuff talks about "US Guys" and tells Stephen that the manliest men in America are in Oklahoma's gay rodeo.
Better Know a District - Ohio's 18th - Zack SpaceThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen takes a look at Ohio's 18th and speaks with Congressman Zack Space, who has some pretty radical views -- for a Democrat.
The Word - Making a KillingThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen feels that it's not wrong for the U.S. to sell F-14 fighter jet parts to Iran. They're the only country that uses the jet, so we could make a killing.
Pray for StephenThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen received a form letter informing him that he is one of the most powerful personalities in media and for this reason he has earned himself a day of being prayed for.
The San Francisco TreatThe Colbert ReportS3
After performing same-sex civil ceremonies in San Francisco, Gavin Newsom had an affair, which basically means that the American family is destroyed.
Tek Jansen - From the FutureThe Colbert ReportS3
Teks from further and further in the future keep showing up to save kids from each other, deliver messages, and have sex (by accident).
Steven PinkerThe Colbert ReportS3
Stephen tells Steven Pinker that he doesn't fear evolution because he doesn't believe in it.
Intro - 2/7/07The Colbert ReportS3
Stephen asks if the Democrats should respond to the Republicans' nonbinding resolution with a nonbinding resolution, and expects to have his mind read by guest Steven Pinker.
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