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The Colbert Report
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The Colbert Report
Summit of All Fears
Season 5 • 04/22/2009
Esteban Colberto blames America for Mexico's drug lords.
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Watching
03:12
George Will's Demon Denim
The Colbert Report
S5
George Will launches a righteous attack against Satan's denim leg tubes.
04/21/2009
03:44
Who's Riding My Coattails Now? - Blown Away by the USA
The Colbert Report
S5
Act now and receive Stephen's patriotic CD collection: "Blown Away by the USA," "Stunned by the States" and "Flabbergasted by the Flag."
04/21/2009
00:29
Intro - 4/21/09
The Colbert Report
S5
President Obama releases CIA torture memos. It's like the greatest hits of our greatest hits.
04/21/2009
05:22
Mike Krzyzewski
The Colbert Report
S5
Mike Krzyzewski differentiates between teamwork and socialism.
04/21/2009
00:17
Special DVD Commentary
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen offers special DVD commentary for those who recorded tonight's show and burned it onto a DVD.
04/21/2009
06:00
Ira Glass
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen wants to know if Ira Glass will be just as lifeless hosting a live cinema performance as he is on the radio.
04/22/2009
00:35
Intro - 4/22/09
The Colbert Report
S5
President Obama returns from the Summit of the Americas, and Stephen looks forward to making fun of Ira Glass' glasses.
04/22/2009
02:03
"The Price Is Right" Goes Green
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen bids less than a dollar on environmentally friendly prizes.
04/22/2009
05:32
Where and When Is Stephen Going to the Persian Gulf? - Qatar
The Colbert Report
S5
Alcohol and pornography aren't allowed in Qatar, but they didn't say anything about O'Doul's and the Talbots catalogue.
04/22/2009
00:12
Never Go to Bed Angry
The Colbert Report
S5
Don't go to bed angry. Stephen will do that for you.
04/22/2009
05:33
Summit of All Fears
The Colbert Report
S5
Esteban Colberto believes Barack Obama has bigger plantains to fry than the Summit of the Americas.
04/22/2009
00:10
Goodnight, Daisy
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen bids goodnight to Daisy the Cow.
04/23/2009
05:14
The Word - Brunt Double
The Colbert Report
S5
Until we can all agree on whom we should be angry at, tearing each other apart is the best plan we've got.
04/23/2009
00:39
Intro - 4/23/09
The Colbert Report
S5
Who is to blame for the economic crisis? If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, the ducks probably did it.
04/23/2009
03:27
Illegitimate Grandson of an Alligator
The Colbert Report
S5
Have you heard the rumor that Bill Posey's grandmother had her alligator baby out of wedlock?
04/23/2009
05:47
Elizabeth Bintliff
The Colbert Report
S5
Elizabeth Bintliff brings along Daisy the Cow to promote Heifer International, an organization that delivers livestock to developing countries.
04/23/2009
04:26
America Does Not Swear On Camera
The Colbert Report
S5
Shepard Smith swearing on camera isn't something one gets away with like torture.
04/23/2009
02:04
Days of Swine and Doses
The Colbert Report
S5
The swine flu virus contains a little something from pig, bird and human -- just like Stephen's paella recipe.
04/27/2009
06:58
Shout Out - Kids Edition
The Colbert Report
S5
Stephen promises never to eat Ewok, provides some child-safe Nazi footage and raises the competition on donorschoose.org.
04/27/2009
03:36
The Decemberists
The Colbert Report
S5
Colin Meloy describes The Decemberists' latest album by listing influences Stephen's never heard of.
04/27/2009
01:43
Craziest F#?king Thing I've Ever Heard - Fir Tree Lung
The Colbert Report
S5
Christmas trees are supposed to warm the cockles of our hearts, not infest the alveoli of our lungs.
04/27/2009
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01:22
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Out of Office
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A Front Row Seat to South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert
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S25
Sing along to silly songs and classic symphonies from the show on South Park The 25th Anniversary Concert, premiering August 13 at 10/9c.
07/27/2022