The Colbert Report

Intro - 2/4/09

Season 5 • 02/04/2009

Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that Pope Benedict reinstated a Holocaust-denying bishop.

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07:07

Henry Louis Gates, Jr.
The Colbert ReportS5

Henry Louis Gates, Jr. says Abraham Lincoln was always against slavery, but he wasn't a fan of black people.
02/03/2009
00:14

All the Show We Have Time For
The Colbert ReportS5

Fortunately, it's also all the time we have show for.
02/03/2009
04:13

Colbert Platinum - Ass-Covering Edition
The Colbert ReportS5

If you really want to convince people you're dead, you need to actually die.
02/03/2009
02:35

Tom Daschle Steps Down
The Colbert ReportS5

If this were the Bush administration, Tom Daschle would have never stepped down -- not without a medal of freedom.
02/03/2009
05:29

The Word - Army of One
The Colbert ReportS5

If Republicans do what Rush Limbaugh says, they'll get the only vote that matters: his.
02/03/2009
00:33

Intro - 2/3/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Republicans choose a new leader. Don't worry -- they're the same old ideas.
02/03/2009
04:39

Who's Not Honoring Me Now? - The Newberry Awards
The Colbert ReportS5

Al Gore has already won an Oscar, an Emmy, a Nobel Prize and the 2000 presidential election -- he doesn't need a Grammy.
02/04/2009
00:09

Tell Your Friends
The Colbert ReportS5

If you didn't like what you saw, Stephen will tell your enemies.
02/04/2009
03:01

Stephen Verbally Thrashes Steve Martin
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen explodes after Steve Martin walks through his eyeline.
02/04/2009
04:33

Yahweh or No Way - The Super Bowl
The Colbert ReportS5

God helping both teams in a football game would be as impossible as loving both Christians and Muslims.
02/04/2009
00:32

Intro - 2/4/09
The Colbert ReportS5

Pope Benedict reinstates a Holocaust-denying bishop. Frankly, Stephen is skeptical of the evidence that he actually reinstated him.
02/04/2009
00:13

Keep Your Friends Close
The Colbert ReportS5

You can keep your enemies closer by hating yourself.
02/05/2009
00:31

Intro - 2/5/09
The Colbert ReportS5

What's in the stimulus package? Stephen's guessing high-fructose corn syrup because that stuff is in everything.
02/05/2009
02:40

Stelephant Colbert the Elephant Seal
The Colbert ReportS5

Stephen has a hideous elephant seal named after him.
02/05/2009
02:03

Alpha Dog of the Week - Boy Scouts of America
The Colbert ReportS5

The Boy Scouts of America proudly raise the Scout sign and tell their own conservation code to read between the lines.
02/05/2009
07:03

Jonah Lehrer
The Colbert ReportS5

Jonah Lehrer talks about finding a balance between the rational and the emotional in decision-making.
02/05/2009
02:39

Economic Stimulus Bill - James Surowiecki
The Colbert ReportS5

James Surowiecki says the Democrats are using the financial crisis to push through programs that are in the long-term interest of Americans.
02/05/2009
04:38

Economic Stimulus Debate
The Colbert ReportS5

Democrats take a page from the Republicans' fear book when selling the economic stimulus bill.
02/05/2009
00:30

Intro - 2/9/09
The Colbert ReportS5

A married lesbian couple files for divorce and moves into separate Subaru Outbacks, and someone won a Grammy.
02/09/2009
02:43

The New Word Czar
The Colbert ReportS5

Michael Steele navigates the subtleties of our language as he talks about the stimulus bill.
02/09/2009
04:01

Al Gore Steals Stephen's Grammy
The Colbert ReportS5

Since Stephen's voice isn't worth a Grammy, he's going to stop talking forever.
02/09/2009
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